Sick kids make Anti-moms

Sometimes us parents get into a certain mindset and cant see any other way of life except with kids. Ok maybe we could but we don't want to because with kids comes lots of responsibilities and often not as many fun alone things to do like our friends. Why would you want to look at your kidless friends lives and envy them and let them know you envy them? You don't want to do that. You want them to have kids so they can be as equally as miserable as you are. But we cant just tell our kidless friends that can we? Nope. Instead we make up a list of reasons on why being a parent is soooooooo AMAZING and why they should start having kids right this second.

Yup, I let the cat out of the bag here but its because I feel bad for all the kidless friends who just don't want kids for no other reason than they just don't want one. And yet we heckle them about having kids anyways even though sometimes if we could wed go back and not have kids (I'm not saying altogether not have them just maybe not have them until we are rich enough to pay someone else to raise our kids...) I had my kids young so I've never gotten the OMG you should have kids speech and hopefully I haven't given one but if I have I hope I followed it up with a please dear god don't take that seriously, never have kids! kind of thing. 

I say this because even though my kids can be fun/silly/crazy/cute/sweet/innocent/smart/respectful/honest and so on they can also be cranky/miserable/snotty/bossy/disrespectful/angry/manipulative/aggravating/aggressive (ok so maybe I can think of more bad words than good but that's just how it is ok). I know what its like to deal with whiny kids. I know what its like to deal with emotional kids. I know whats its like to deal with hyper kids. I know what its like to deal with sick kids and that's pretty much one of the best reasons someone could give as to why they don't want kids. All someone would have to do is tell me "oh I've been around your kids when they are sick, and um no thank you." That's all they would need to say and I'd be like oooooh I get it. I feel ya. That's how bad it can get with sick kids. 

I think some parents may not be as easily convinced... so to those of you who don't have an understanding friend like me then maybe you should go a little deeper. Next time your friends kid is sick take videos of said sick kid, save all the parents nightmarish texts and internet posts. I'm sure they will respond with something like "oh but that doesn't happen all the time" and you can respond with "oh but it happens enough" because it does, it really does. One sick week with a kid is enough to last a parent a lifetime but unfortunately for parents there's way more sick weeks with kids than any of us would  like to add up...

Anti mom- A sanctuary

As I was sitting on the couch last night typing away with the "Beats" headphones on-yes I had to name drop because they seriously are the most amazing headphones I have EVER put on my head! When I turn them up loud it is like I am front row to the speakers they literally are thrumming against my ears. It is incredible. But back to the topic now... I realized while wearing these headphones that I am limited in motion. I can't easily stand up and dance around like I would have wanted to while listening to an AMAZING Pandora playlist. Something I think Pandora plays the best songs when I'm trying to work because it wants me to just stand up and dance.

Unfortunately being trapped with headphones that are charging, and my phone and no pockets I have limited options on movement. And then I thought how nice would it be to have my own room where I could just play my music over my speakers and be able to get up and dance whenever I wanted because I wasn't being held down by my devices. Ok so maybe this would cause me to be even less productive than I am already but sometimes I just need to dance... I take that back, I ALWAYS need to dance. I'd dance every second of every day if I could. And a lot of time I am. I am always humming to myself or dancing to a song playing in my head. Music seems to help my creativity flow and there's been a lot of music playing lately...

 

But my problem is where am I going to have my own space where I can turn on my music, plop my computer on a desk and just dance my heart away? It's 11pm or later when this happens. I can't exactly blast my speakers in the house or anything cause then I would have to deal with the backlash of that from Mike and the kids. So I have figured out my own solution. I need some sort of outside indoor sanctuary. I need a place where I am free to get up and dance to my music at a reasonably loud level at any time of the night when creativity happens to strike. I can't sit outside and blast music because it will wake up the kids and the neighbors. I need some type of area away from the house that is enclosed enough to be able to do everything I need to do.

 

So maybe I have figured out a solution but I don't exactly know how to act on that. We are renting and I know there are rules about building a building out back of here. And I'm sure there are permits needed to be pulled to even put a damn shed out in the back yard. Yes I would suffer the confinement of a shed if it meant I had free reign of music and decent dancing space. So... my only hope is that when we move into our own place later this year that I can somehow bat my eyelashes at Mike and add my own private room detached from the house into the backyard. It's not like I am asking for much more. I mean I have only asked for a pool, an open floor plan, a bathroom with a toilet in its own closet, a certain minimum of rooms and square footage, and most likely a remodel of all flooring, cabinets and countertops for a used home, oh and lets not forget paint and landscape. So one more little thing shouldn't be hard right?

 

If only there were an easier solution. Maybe just giving the kids away to someone would be better, then I'd get my own room and I would have no music limitations, or any other limitations. Man that giving the kids up idea just keeps looking better every day. I wonder if every other parent struggles with some of these problems? Or am I just too selfish that I want my cake, and his cake, and her cake, and that cake, and this cake, and to eat them all too?

Anti Mom- A life without writing

So as some of you may know I have been writing a book. Well it started off as one and has branched into more. There are already almost three complete and the ideas don't stop flowing, my plan is to get 8 full books and a few novellas.

 

I never really pictured myself as a writer, but now I find myself wondering how I could do anything else. I don't know how good they are, I'm waiting to hear feed back from people. I obviously know they are not done and still need a lot of work which I am very willing to do. The more feedback I get the more I can see the story transforming even more from when I started a year ago.

 

At first I wasn't sure about it. It started with an idea that would only come to me when I had a few moments to myself, which was basically shower time. I finally decided to start writing it down. It took me a while to get it out at first but over time I started just throwing stuff down and as it went on I could piece it together a little bit more. Who knows if this will ever be anything more than a hobby. I would like to get started on editing soon after some more adjustments and then see what a professional thinks.

 

I think that if my life had turned out differently I might be interested in something else. But now, when I try to think about a time when I have to go back to work it's hard to find something I would enjoy doing. Sure I would love to go back to school and finish getting my degree in Architecture and Interior Design, and maybe someday I will. But for now I feel like this is what is calling to me.

 

I didn't realize at first, until I started obsessing over it day and night for the past few weeks, but writing is therapeutic for me. When I transport myself into the realm I picture for my book its unexplainable how amazing it feels. I'm constantly thinking of ways to make it better, maybe I'll do this forever because I'll never think its perfect, I don't know. But I find myself dreaming about my characters and what they look like and what they are up to which helps build the story in my mind.

 

I have become obsessed, I guess is the only way to put it. I am up each night until almost 3am writing. When I am sleeping I dream about it. And when I am awake and not writing I constantly think about it. If that's not a serious obsession than I don't know what is.

 

An annoying side effect from staring at the computer for so long and obsessing over it is that sometimes words run together. I spell things how they sound in my mind instead of how they are supposed to be spelled. It comes out so fast its hard to focus on specific details like whether I should use then or than. Or if an apostrophe is necessary or not. Letters get skipped by accident and it becomes a hassle to go back and correct them. But somehow I still feel good about it. I feel like even though it could just turn out as a hobby it's still a way to get things out.

 

I can take out my aggression, my sadness, my fears, and even my happiness and place it into this book. I can write crazy scenarios that may never happen in real life but that seem so normal in my book. It is an incredible feeling to have found something that I can pour my heart into and not be afraid of the outcome. If people don't end up liking it then I don't really think it would bother me much. It matters what I like and what I am happy with. Sure I want others to love it and that's why I listen to the criticism and it helps me to see things I may not have seen before or on my own. And that is great if I want to appeal to other people which I do. Of course I want people to like it, to love it like I do.

 

I want someone to read it and get lost in it like I do. I want someone to picture themselves in that position like I do when reading someone else's book. But in the end I want to be happy with what I have written. That is what is most important to me. But that doesn't mean that any and all criticism is unwelcome because I do welcome it. I can't wait to hear what others think of it. I think I will be spending a lot more time getting it to how I want but in the end I think I could accomplish great things with this.

 

Anti mom- 30 Things to do before you die

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-10247/30-things-to-do-before-you-die.html

I really liked this article. Most people have bucket lists like jump off a plane, go to Europe, swim with dolphins, blah blah blah. Sometimes you see something like perform a random act of kindness, help out a stranger, witness a sunrise. And when I see stuff like that it makes me have a little bit more hope in humanity. Its easy to say how many things we would like to do before we day, how many fun adventures we would love to take but why not pay attention to the smaller things?

Like instead of sitting on your phone or computer all day take a break from technology for a whole day and just watch how wonderful nature is or how amazing your family is. We spend so much time working and obsessing over things and places that we don't really need to do or go see. We spend so much time wanting more from our life that we forget to stop and enjoy and be thankful for what we really have. We should spend more time working on small things like stop being so negative.

What happens when you die and you have done everything on your bucket list? You have seen all these places, done tons of new things, but what does that do for you after your dead? All the time you spent enjoying these things you don't really need you could have been building a better relationship with someone. You could have made an amazing impression on someone and they may never forget what you did for them. Isn't that more important than going to see the great wall of China? The wall isn't going to remember you visiting, but that person whose life you changed will remember it forever.

I think we should spend a little less time wanting more and more from other people and for our lives and spend more time working on how we could touch some else's life and really make a difference. So next time you find yourself thinking about what new video game you have to have, or you save your money for that vacation you have to take, just take a minute to think about some type of selfless act you could do for someone else instead of obsessing over your new obsession. I'm going to start trying to think this way too. Hopefully it will help teach my children to be better people and to perform many random acts of kindness, after all if I don't teach them to act like that then who will?

Anti mom- Cold Weather

My favorite time of year is winter. I love the cold weather because I hate how hot and humid it can get here in Florida the rest of the year. But another reason I love winter is the fashion! During the warmer months I don't really care about what I wear cause it's too damn hot to be comfy in anything. But when it's cold out is when my style really kicks in!

I love wearing boots, any type! I love wearing leggings and scarves and sweater dress, sweats and especially my leather jacket hubs got me a few years ago... But obviously with our winter weather not exactly being cold enough it's not often that I get to wear my jacket. But what I'm loving most about winter is the new leggings they have come out with! I'm in love with them!!

I just bought myself two pairs and you bet your ass I'll be buying a few more! It's something about the busy patterns, the high waist, and decently warm fabric that excites me. Plus the fact that my butt looks amazing in them and the busy pattern helps hide my small tummy pudge and my massive thighs. I feel so comfortable in the leggings that I would wear them everyday if I could. But unfortunately half the time during winter it's still 80 degrees out and that is still freaking hot!

So my plea goes out to whoever is listening and controlling the weather. Please let it get really cold for like 2 months, maybe 3 so that I can get in  some good leggings and leather jacket time!

Anti Mom- Stop at 1

We have 2 kids as all of you know. And taking care of them proves to be a very difficult task. I don't know if it is this difficult for all parents who have 2 or more children or if it is just us because we have crazy Lil to deal with. I feel like even though its 2 against 2 we are outnumbered. I feel like it should be 4 to 2, at least 2 parents for every 1 child, Lil may need 4 of her own though.

I often find myself dreaming about the old days where it was just Tyler and how easy it was to take care of him. Lil just makes everything so difficult it drives me crazy. As much as I love her I know life would have been a piece of cake without her here. I do not regret having her but I do regret not appreciating the simple times I had with Tyler. We know for sure that he has the personality that is pretty much meant to be an only child but I wasn't happy with one so I had to have another.

I just want to point this out. Pay attention to the first child you have, if you decide to have one. Some of them are desperate for a sibling and some would be better off without one. Tyler probably would have enjoyed being an only child his whole life, especially if the alternative is what it is now, that he has to be tortured for the rest of his life by his younger bullying sister. If you notice that your child seems happy being an only child do yourself a favor and stop there. Be happy with what you have.

I find that we always want more than what we have. If I had stopped and looked around and realized how great Tyler was by himself I may have stuck with just one. But I didn't and Lil was born and I love that fat little girl to death but she makes everything so freaking difficult and I have never been more stressed out in my life. I actually look forward to the day she has to start school!

I'm sure there is going to be someone who reads this that is like Oh my god how could she say that about her kid? Well if you are saying that then you obviously have not met Lily. Yes she is amazing, and smart, and cute, and can be so sweet but she is an explorer, and independent, and moody, and a bully, and much much more. She came out kicking and swinging. Hell she tortured me while I was pregnant and I am sure it was on purpose. Before she could talk she was bullying me when I breast fed by biting me with her little tooth if I took to long to feed her. And yes I know she did it on purpose because she looked me in the eye gave me a nasty look and bit me on purpose.

She has been miss independent since she was born and grows more and more so each day. And that is what makes her difficult to handle. I love that she is smart and likes to explore but I wish there was a way to keep it to a minimum so that everything she does doesn't almost kill her. It is very exhausting trying to keep your child from killing herself or her sibling.

So just remember this when you have your first and are desperate for another. You could wind up with one like Lil. And while she is amazing and has a hilarious personality she is a pain in my booty. And if you do so choose to have a second make sure you at least stop to enjoy the time you have with your first because your second could very well monopolize your time for the rest of their life.

This morning I told Tyler to get dressed so Lily went into his room and started grabbing all of his shirts and putting them on the floor in my room for him to choose from. Now do you understand what I mean by she makes everything more difficult?

Anti Mom- Sleeping in

I'm not a morning person AT ALL. I never have been and probably never will be. I'm a night owl, I like to stay up late and sleep in. Well now that I have kids I am still a night owl but am forced to be up early.

Tyler barely sleeps past 8 am which I am thankful that he wakes Mike up and not me. I however am on Lily's schedule, if she is up in the middle of the night I am up with her. If she wakes up at 5 in the morning I am stuck entertaining her. Thankfully she is finally starting to enjoy a few TV shows so anytime she decides to wake up early I just turn on Yo Gabba Gabba and she is happy.

What I miss most about not having kids is sleeping in till whenever I want. Sometimes when Mike goes out of town he gets to sleep in till like 12 or later and I hate him for it. The only way that happens here is if one of the parents tames the 2 kids while the other tries to sleep through all the nose they always make especially if someone is sleeping.

I remember when I would wake up before kids and it would be 11 or 12 on a weekend, sometimes later than that. It always felt so amazing and if I wanted to go back to sleep I could. Now if I want to go back to sleep I can but only in 5 minute intervals which obviously is so not worth it.

I took sleeping for granted before I had kids. I sometimes stayed up all night and then only slept a few hours to get up and do it all over again. If I could do it over I would dedicate days to just sleeping. Obviously you know what I will be doing all the time when my kids move out in 18 years. Man I cant wait for that day to come, I mean I can, I don't want them to grow up but I do want to enjoy some sleep!

 

Anti Mom- I'm a stinky mom

I remember years ago before kids that I would wash my hair everyday. I would shave my legs every other day. I would shower at least once a day....

 

Now I try to go as many days as possible without washing my hair. My legs get shaved once a week, if that. And I try to shower almost every day but sometimes I dont have the energy for that. If I've been home all day and have not sweat that much then I can talk my way out of taking a shower that night finding other things to do instead.

 

There have been times where I've gone out in public without deoderent because I forgot about it, it's happened to often that now I carry it in my purse. Sometimes I get so busy I forget to change my underwear in the morning. And sometimes I spray in some no wash conditioner to get an extra day or two wear out of my hair. My priorities are different now then they once were. I have started letting my eyebrows grow out because I would forget to pluck them for days and they would look crazy.

I don't know if this is something every mom goes through but sometimes you just get to busy to focus on yourself. Yoga pants are my best friend, when I go out in shorts I used to wear I feel like a hooch... it doesnt stop me from wearing them though. I sometimes spray perfume because I know it will be a while before I get to put deoderent on again so it's to cover up the smell in case my deoderent wears off.

 

Looking at all of this I sound like a really sad person. Maybe this is part of why I'm depressed sometimes but mostly I am just trying to do what I can to make it through the day. I know I should prioritize better and make more time for myself and I'm working on that but sometimes I like to just remember the days when none of this was actually a problem...

Anti Mom- What's a cartoon?

If you don't have kids then you probably have not watched the same show or movie over and over until that show that you once liked becomes a show you can't stand to think about.

 

When your a mom it seems like there is at least one thing all moms have in common that their child is addicted to watching the same movie or show over and over and over. This happens with books too. They watch the show so many time that you could say every line in your sleep. It's annoying. But it is just a stage for kids they like to do this because after watching it so many times they know what is going to happen. And even though the show might drive you insane it is cute to watch your kid get excited when they predicted what would happen.

 

So if you haven't watched a show or movie or read a book a million gazillion times then be thankful for that because once you have kids that is your future. So enjoy you repeat-less life as much as possible until then!

Anti mom- cereal

At what age does it become childish to have a bowl of cereal in the morning, more specifically a bowl of lucky charms? This is what I eat in the morning, cereal or waffles. Is it ok to eat them because I have kids or is there an age where it seems no longer appropriate? I only eat this stuff now that I have kids. Before I had them it wad bagels or poptarts. If what I eat is no longer appropriate then at what age did it become inappropriate? Or am I still ok? Not that the result would change what I eat in any way I'm just curious as to what people think, so let me know what you think...

 

Anti Mom- car music

To all you biotches our there who drive around in your car listening to your music loud, single all the words and knowing every line...

Just remember all the moms out there who have to listen to that same song at least a dozen times more than you to get to hear the whole song without interruptions and to learn the words takes even longer. And the only time we get to blast the music is when we are trying to drown out the talking or crying in the backseat.

So enjoy that while you can.

 

Anti mom- SHE had a baby?

Ever see one of those skinny girls who you envy for their amazingly hot body and then find out they had a baby and your are that much more pissed cause you know there is no way your body can bounce back like that...well I'm one of those girls. Just kidding!

While I may have lost the weight easily I sure as hell don't look like I did before I had a kid, and even then I didn't have the best body, but it was totally better than this. I remember before I had kids, and each time I was pregnant, seeing someone who I totally completely hated because of how they looked after they had a kid. I mean how in the hell do you get a six pack after you have a kid? I can't even seem to stop the food cravings and the overeating that came with my pregnancy let alone find the strength to workout!

If you are one of those people who I envy because of your post pregnancy body than please, I urge you to cover that shit up. All your doing is making other women who don't look like you feel bad. Not everybody has great genetics or has 5 hours each day to dedicate to working last nights dinner off of their ass! So just put that shit away!

 

Anti Mom- wait a second

There's moments as a parent that you hear a noise from in the other room and you just cringe. This can happen with pets too, so if you don't have kids but you have pets you know what I'm talking about.

You hear that thump that sounds oddly like a head hitting the floor, or that noise that sounds like water being poured out but you know better, well that's what I'm talking about. You hear that and then you just don't even want to know what's happening in that moment. Of course you know you will be dealing with it in about 30 seconds but for those 29 seconds before that you are comfortable not knowing what it was that was going down in the other room because you know it wont be pretty, and of course it never is.

But for about 29 seconds of your life you can live in total ignorance until your time is up. And then you get to walk into whatever crazy shit that just went down in the other room.

 

Anti mom- No sick kids for you

If your not a parent then a sick kid may not mean much to you. If you are you know that a sick kid means snot, throw up, diarrhea, coughing and practically no sleep for you, plus a huge headache because of all the whining. Being a parent and having a sick kid is probably the worst part of being a parent. It doesn't matter what your kid has it hurts your heart to see them sick. And it sucks to have to deal with them being sick. It just sucks all around. So before you go off having babies remember that this will be a big and annoying part of your new life!

Antimom Thursday-you sure you wanna do this?

To all of you out there who have not yet had a child I urge you to think about this carefully before you decide you want a baby because it is very possible you could end up with a Lily. I should start taking videos of her and posting them on here so you can see what I mean.

Sure she is cute and can be sweet but she seems to be extremely bipolar. 'Im sure it's very common in kids. I have seen tons of kids to the head thrashing when they are pissed it's something they do cause well they are crazy. But Lily is like the whip cream cherry and nuts on top of a crazy shit storm Sunday. As I type this she is thrashing around on the floor and screaming like someone just ripped a limb from her body. Why you ask is she doing this. Well I'm not sure.

This is how it started...She loves shoes, she brought me one of Tyler's shoes to put on her foot, I put it on. Then about ten min later I brought her in the room to change her outfit and her diaper. That's when the fit started because I had to take the shoe off. I had to fight her screaming and thrashing body to change het diaper and her outfit. Then I put the shoe back on like I promised her and she stopped crying and thrashing. I even found it's mate and put it on her other foot, well that set her off again and she went back into her screaming thrashing fit. She followed me around the house screaming and banging her head because of whatever it is I did wrong. She took both shoes off and was still doing it. Then after I ignored her she finally stopped.

My guess is that she only wanted one show on. I can't be sure though and I will never know cause it's not like she can explain it to me yet. No I do have an extreme case of a crash kid. But it is just as possible for you to wind up with a crazy kid like that.

I should start lending her out to people who don't have kids so they can experience first hand what it is like to have a kid cause she plays all l aspects of what a kid could be from sweet Lil angel to psychotic devil. Maybe I'll start posting videos so you all can see first hand what could very well happen to you. Especially if you had one of those parents who constantly told you they hope you have a kid worse then what you were as a kid. Well I had one of those moms. Thanks mom you got your wish. At least I can carry on that tradition with my kid!

Anti Mom- dressing room

Sometimes what I miss most about the time before I had kids was being able to go to the store and actually try on clothes rather than just holding it up to myself and hoping it fits. Those were the days I took for granted, now if I want that I either have to go by myself or with Mike so he can watch the kids. So yes I don't get new clothes too often. At least not nice ones, mostly tank tops or comfy clothes. Its the little things sometimes that we miss most!

Anti-mom Thursday- Doctor

If you don't have kids then you cant understand the simplicity of getting up and going to the doctor. The most you have to worry about is remembering to bring your copay. Lucky you.

If you have kids then you know that the copay is the least important thing to you. You know the doc can bill you. The most important thing you must remember is to bring lots of things to entertain your kids with even though its never enough anyways.

So if you dont have kids then just think about that the next time your sitting in your doctors office wondering whats taking so long. Just think how much worse it could be for you.

 

Anti mom- If you have kids you will have bad days

Yesterday as you may have guessed was a bad day.

I have had a headache for 5 days now, 5 days! That's a long time ton have a headache all day and night! And so of course yesterday the kids were being ultra naughty and my head was hurting and I was just not in the mood to handle both. Today the headache is not as bad so of course the kids are behaved.

I am home with these kids all day and night and sometimes I just need a break, sometimes I just can't handle them anymore, usually I can wait to break down until Mike gets home but sometimes I just can't wait. And what better place to express my misery then my I am a bad mom blog! So if this headache continues there may be more of those types of posts. So if you have not had kids but your thinking about it... well that will be you one day, because you can't always hold it in! So go ahead and judge me now but it will be you one day.

Anti-Mom Thursday-party

Something that I see people doing that I know who don't have kids is going out and partying like every week. Good for you! If you don't have kids but are planning on it one day then your ass better be getting out there every weekend if possible! Because eventually you will have kids and they will suck the life out of you and you will be too tired to even think of partying.

I am proud of the people my age that I see getting out there and having young fun! I am glad I got that out of my system earlier than most because I did have kids at such a young age! So if your out there shaking your butt each night then props to you!

 

Anti mom- things you will do if you have kids

Having kids means you have to go places they will enjoy going to. Those places may also be places you would enjoy going to if you didn't have kids, like Disney. Not to say that you wont have fun going with your kids you just wont have the same fun you would if you went without them.

You really wanna go on that big scary 20 loop ride? Well too bad your kid is with you and he or she is too short and too scared of that ride so you either get to ride it by yourself or not ride it at all. That's how your whole day is at a theme park with your kid. Add in changing diapers, stopping every five seconds for a diaper change, a bottle, getting out a toy or food, or so that they can walk then change their mind and want to ride in the stroller.

Although there is still plenty of things to do with them and you will have plenty of fun watching them play and get excited about every little thing its not the easy care free day at Disney you would have without kids.

Yes we are getting ready for a day at Disney, and of course I hardly slept last night. Yey!