I made it

So to all my loyal fans I'm alive! This is not an automated post. I really am alive. I just wrote this in advance because well, you know how I like to be prepared.

I'm told I'm going to be hurting pretty bad. Apparently even though I'm having a c-section it won't be as easy as it was after I had kids. We shall see about that. But that's what drugs are for right? And alcohol! Oh yeah baby. I got a bottle of Sangria at home with my name on it. I'm coming for you baby! Give me a few days.

Oh and I love you all and I can't wait to be home with my family. And no, I'm not just saying that because I should, well kinda... but yeah... ;p

If I don't come back...

Today is a big day for me. Today I am hopefully getting a lot of my problems resolved. Today, they are removing my uterus, my appendix, and a few spleens just floating around inside me. And maybe I'm being cynical, or maybe I'm jinxing myself, I don't know... but I thought I should just let out what I'd want to say if like I never came home.

I'm not preparing to die. I'm not expecting to die. Dying is not in my agenda for some time, trust me. But what kind of over the top, over achieving preparer would I be if I didn't at least address this side of the what if category? So I think I'll write it like this because you know how I love irony...

If I die, before I wake, 

I pray the lord my soul to take.

I want my family to know how much I love them.

I want my kids to know that they are my world, that they literally saved me from the darker part of myself. 

I want Mike to know how sorry I am for being a bitch sometimes but I wouldn't want to be a bitch to anyone else but him. He truly is my other half, and while we may fight it is not often and deep down he knows I'm always right. :)

I want my mom to know how thankful I am for everything she has done for me. She has suffered right along side me for almost 27 years. If it wasn't for her, I would not be here, and that should be repeated a few times because she has saved me more than once.

I want my brothers to know I love them and that I do have a favorite but I'll never tell who it is.

I want my friends to know that if you're still my friend, well I feel bad for you because man am I awful! But thank you for sticking around. 

I would also like to reiterate that if I do die that my father and his wife are not aloud at my funeral or whatever if my family chooses to have one. Honestly I'd prefer it if nobody would even tell him I died. Maybe I'm being spiteful but I think my death should be about me, not about him, which is what he will make it seem like.

Oh, the measly $164.00 in my account are supposed to go to CJ. Your'e welcome,  that should cover like none of the expenses to start up your business. Sorry...

I would like my organs to be donated to whoever could take them. I'm sorry for whoever might get my heart, it's pretty dark. But to all who would receive me, you're welcome for that OCD and chocolate cake cravings, those came from my Gramma's blood.

To the doctors who worked on me: Thank you. Just, THANK YOU. Because honestly even if I were to not make it (which there's no way any of us would let that happen) I'd still be ok with you guys. I know being the wonderful Christian men you are you'd throw yourselves over the flames because of this but don't worry, I'd be down there pulling you off of them. Cause come on lets face it we all know I'm going down. But the two of you have been so incredible. My mom gets the pleasure of working with you both and thanks to that you have treated me like family. I could not have asked for more wonderful doctors.

Oh and if I make it, which you know I will, I expect sushi on the daily for like a week or so... maybe more. So someone better start saving up for that expense.

But really, I'll be awake in a few hours and ready to post my I made it post. 

My thoughts on Mother's Day

So as you all know yesterday was Mother's Day. Well, it happened to be my 5th one! When I say I have to stop a moment and think about that because I just can't believe it. It makes me feel super old. I mean if 5 years flew by that fast I'm gonna blink and be 50 in like 5 seconds... please wait while I get the super glue to permanently hold my eyes open...

So now that my fingers have been glued to the keyboard at least I can finish this thought... I realized yesterday that at some point I became ok with doing dishes, laundry, cleaning, and even moving on a day that was meant to celebrate me being a mom. And why am I ok with doing all this stuff on this special day? Because I am a mom! I am constantly moving and cleaning all day that I'd be lying to myself if I was actually expecting a day of just relaxation. Sure I took a nice nap, I finished the last 50 pages of my book, I watched a little tv, and I somewhat slept in to 9:00 am. 

I don't know when I suddenly thought of things like laundry and dishes as an extension of me and not a horrible chore I'm forced to endure daily. I don't know when I suddenly started being an actual mom and not a self absorbed whiny adult. I don't know when taking a nap on the couch became like the best luxury ever. Or when the best cards I could possibly get was a homemade card (which Tyler by the way made the best one EVER at school). And no the answer isn't when I had kids because I was still pretty self absorbed for a while after I had them... I still am sometimes.

I think one day I just finally woke up and realized that I have a great life. I have two beautiful healthy kids, a wonderful guy who loves me and would do anything for us, and I get to stay home every day and care for my family. Yes sometimes I can't wait to get back to working but as I know from recent experiences that I only think I want to work now. Truthfully I'm happy where I'm at and trying to change that results in a panic attack.

I am so thankful that I found Mike and we have our two wonderful kids because before him and them I was heading down a dark path. They saved me and every day they bring joy to my heart and just seeing them play and be happy and knowing they came from me is the only thing I need to have a Happy Mother's Day, well them and Donuts...

9/11

Let us never forget all of the people of 9/11. All those brave souls taken before their time. I remember where I was and who I was with the day I heard the news. I'll never forget that day. My heart goes out to everyone who lost a friend or family member on that awful day and the days that followed. We will always remember this day.

Happy St. Patricks Day All!

I hope everybody has a great St. Patrick's Day night! I planned on going out tonight but with the crappy weather and the recent almost shooting at one of our local bars I decided against it. Instead I will be home drinking some wine, watching TV with the hubs and writing. I hope you all have as fun of a night as I will be! :)

 

Tyler's Weekend

So last Saturday Tyler turned 4! 4! Can you believe it!? I cant! We had his party on Sunday and I think its safe to say he had lots of fun. We had a bounce house and a piñata this year. Pretty cool stuff to a 4 year old. The day of course made me sad because its just proof that my little boy is growing up, and that fucking sucks. I want him to stay my sweet innocent little boy forever.

I don't want him to turn into a snotty rebellious kid and then even worse as a teenager. Cause lets face it he is my kid and Karma loves coming back for me. I don't even want to think about the hell Lil will put me through, or already has...

I want to enjoy my kids while they are young but how can that happen if it all disappears in the blink of an eye? One minute we are waking up in the morning and the next minute its bath time and then bed time. What the hell? I'm just grateful I get to spend all day with them. Even though they drive me crazy at least this way I have tons more embarrassing stories about them for when they are older and snobby. I just gotta look at this growing up thing as a glass half full kind of thing. They will grow up but as when they do I will finally get to get them back for all the torture they put me through when they were kids...

Happy Martin Luther King Day!

I wasn't thinking when I did my earlier post so I forgot to notice this big day... So Happy Martin Luther King day!!

 

Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had a great New Years Eve! And I hope you all have a wonderful night celebrating!!! I celebrated with the family and now I'm calling it quits for the night. I'm an old person now... Yes.

But Happy New Year to all! Don't set your resolution goals to high now!!

Hello 1 year!

So yesterday was my one year mark for this blog! I have been writing on this thing for a year now! That's further than I would have thought I'd get. I figured I would run out of things to talk about by now but I still have a butt load of stuff I want to say. Thank you to everyone who has read and continues to read my blog. There are more people following me than I could have ever expected. I love you all thank you! :)

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all enjoy this time with your family but take a few minutes to enjoy some time for yourself too. If I'm lucky maybe Mike got me some nice noise canceling headphones... Or clothes...I can always borrow his headphones.

 

The kids will be opening gifts all day I'm sure. We went a little crazy this year...ok crazier than normal. So I know it's gonna take them all day to open them. But I do have to say I'm looking forward to doing some good pretend cooking (cause I'm great at that) and doing some Ninja Turtle puzzles!

 

Merry Christmas everyone! And don't forget to listen to your Christmas music. I know I'll be playing it all day. Stations dedicated to my loves Josh Groban and Michael Buble. Their Christmas songs melt my heart!

 

Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve! A day to run around like a maniac doing last minute shopping and then hop from house to house to visit everyone in your family. In otherwords total chaos! I will be working for a few hours today, hopefully it's only 2 or 3 and not 5 1/2 like yesterday because I still have dishes, laundry, and gift seperating to do when I get home and I'd also like to have an hour or so to finish the book Divergent cause I'm dying to know what happens!

 

I hope everyone is careful on the roads today because there will be a lot of cars out their filled with a lot of crazy drivers... I learned that over working these past few days all day. Thete is tons of idiots out there! So be careful!!

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone enjoys their day! Remember to be Thankful for everything you have, and everyone you have! And most of all I hope you all enjoy that huge feast set in front of you later today! Yum!

Happy Thanksgiving All!



Happy Veterans Day!

Happy Veterans Day everyone! Lets all take a moment today to be appreciative for all of those who have served or are serving our country! Thank you!

Halloween

Happy Halloween! Hope everybody has a Spooktacular night!

 

FYI Halloween is my favorite Holiday! As long as my costume turns out ok tonight I will be posting pictures tomorrow!

Happy Quarter Century

I am 25 today. Yey me.

I don't really have a problem with my birthdays. I usually look forward to them cause I get cake and Red Lobster or my mom actually cooks me a meal. But I have noticed that after 21 I have not been as excited about my birthdays as I used to be. Not that I have a problem with the age but when you go places where there are younger people and they say stuff like "OMG that guy is 25, do you think he is too old for me?" Like What the?! 25 is not old!! Just because your 19 doesn't mean you need to make 25 look like its old! Now 60 is old! 25 is not!

I don't think I really ever had a problem with people a few years older than me, hell Mike is 6 years older than me and I am fine with that. I only tease him about his age because its funny, but I don't actually feel like he is so much older than me.

So people stop saying we are OLD! Cause we aren't!

Soon to be mom

This weekend will be one of my best friends baby shower. I have spent some time planning out stuff for the shower and most of this week I have spent most of my days crafting for this big event. I am very excited that she will be having her first baby in January and hopefully I can be there for her the day she does.

I hope you have fun at your shower this weekend Yoanna and I hope it turns out just how I have planned it to look! I've put a lot of sweat into the details of this so I expect the baby to be named after me, any of my names or nicknames will do. That is all.

Birthday Man

Today is Mike's birthday,  He will be 30 for the 2nd time this year! Yey! Yes, we stop counting at 30, got a problem with that?

He wants to keep it low key this year, and every year, so we are just going to do cake with his parents. Tyler and Lily helped me mix the ingredients for the cake this morning. Tyler has been very excited about daddy's birthday. He is in that age where it is all very exciting for him because he finally gets what happens. So he hasn't let me forget that daddy needs a cake, a present, and a card.

We will also be setting up a few decorations because even if Mike isn't in the mood to celebrate Tyler is and once you have kids its not about you anymore... I'm just hoping they take this day into consideration when they plan my birthday. Its not the most exciting thing to set up your own decorations so I'll have to put Tyler in charge of that when the day comes...

Here are a few cute pics from this morning. The last one is what Tyler said was daddy's birthday present, he is good at pretending!

Happy Labor Day!

Hope everyone has a happy and safe labor day today! Enjoy this time with your family, and maybe get some good beach time. :)

Happy 4th of July

Happy 4th of July to everyone! I hope you are all out celebrating this wonderful day and remember to be thankful to those who make this day possible for us! Now get out there and get some sun!!

 

Happy Fathers Day!

Yesterday was fathers day and I hope that all the men out there who read this had a great day! Its probably like just one person because this blog is geared slightly more towards women i guess. So if your a man and your reading this then i appreciate you!