Today is a big day for me. Today I am hopefully getting a lot of my problems resolved. Today, they are removing my uterus, my appendix, and a few spleens just floating around inside me. And maybe I'm being cynical, or maybe I'm jinxing myself, I don't know... but I thought I should just let out what I'd want to say if like I never came home.
I'm not preparing to die. I'm not expecting to die. Dying is not in my agenda for some time, trust me. But what kind of over the top, over achieving preparer would I be if I didn't at least address this side of the what if category? So I think I'll write it like this because you know how I love irony...
If I die, before I wake,
I pray the lord my soul to take.
I want my family to know how much I love them.
I want my kids to know that they are my world, that they literally saved me from the darker part of myself.
I want Mike to know how sorry I am for being a bitch sometimes but I wouldn't want to be a bitch to anyone else but him. He truly is my other half, and while we may fight it is not often and deep down he knows I'm always right. :)
I want my mom to know how thankful I am for everything she has done for me. She has suffered right along side me for almost 27 years. If it wasn't for her, I would not be here, and that should be repeated a few times because she has saved me more than once.
I want my brothers to know I love them and that I do have a favorite but I'll never tell who it is.
I want my friends to know that if you're still my friend, well I feel bad for you because man am I awful! But thank you for sticking around.
I would also like to reiterate that if I do die that my father and his wife are not aloud at my funeral or whatever if my family chooses to have one. Honestly I'd prefer it if nobody would even tell him I died. Maybe I'm being spiteful but I think my death should be about me, not about him, which is what he will make it seem like.
Oh, the measly $164.00 in my account are supposed to go to CJ. Your'e welcome, that should cover like none of the expenses to start up your business. Sorry...
I would like my organs to be donated to whoever could take them. I'm sorry for whoever might get my heart, it's pretty dark. But to all who would receive me, you're welcome for that OCD and chocolate cake cravings, those came from my Gramma's blood.
To the doctors who worked on me: Thank you. Just, THANK YOU. Because honestly even if I were to not make it (which there's no way any of us would let that happen) I'd still be ok with you guys. I know being the wonderful Christian men you are you'd throw yourselves over the flames because of this but don't worry, I'd be down there pulling you off of them. Cause come on lets face it we all know I'm going down. But the two of you have been so incredible. My mom gets the pleasure of working with you both and thanks to that you have treated me like family. I could not have asked for more wonderful doctors.
Oh and if I make it, which you know I will, I expect sushi on the daily for like a week or so... maybe more. So someone better start saving up for that expense.
But really, I'll be awake in a few hours and ready to post my I made it post.
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