Post Vacation Fun

So everybody loves vacations right. And I bet everyone hates going home and back to reality right? Well I doubt anyone could hate it more than me. Every time we come back from a vacation  I'm haunted. Those stains that I couldn't treat on the clothes haunts me. The mountain of clothes that need to be washed now haunts me. The dishes that have somehow appeared in my sink even though I was gone haunts me. The fact that I have to go back to another day of cleaning haunts me.

Sure I know you are all saying god she complains to much. Blah blah blah. Well if you are a parent then you probably get where I'm coming from. When you get home your husband runs to take a shower or flops down in front of the TV. Your kids run to play with their toys and make the worlds biggest mess. And you, you get to work on tackling the laundry because everybody needs clothes for school and such this week and its not like you could get it done while on vacation. 

Lets not forget that even though you were out of town dinner still has to be cooked the night you come back. The bags aren't going to unpack themselves. You have to practically call the hazmat people to remove your garbage that you forgot to take out before you left and now your sure there is something growing and moving in there that's stunk up the whole garage and house.

And nooo this is not a post of me complaining about Mike and saying oh he's not helping wah wah wah. Or my kids are so absorbed in their own lives they don't bother to help blah blah blah. This has nothing to do with all of that. If I need help I ask for it. But sorting laundry and putting dishes in a dishwasher, all that stuff is sort of a one person job. It makes no sense to have two people sorting laundry, you would just get in each others way. 

Yes if I asked for a help I might get it but what fun would it be to go on and on and on about how I do it all by myself if I'm really not doing it all by myself? You could say some of it could wait a little while but then if you were saying that you wouldn't know me and my compulsion to have all things neat and tidy at all times. And also if you knew me then you would know I'm not one to ask for help. I'm more of a I'd rather do it myself and then throw it in your face later type of girl.

Honestly though I don't know why I do it. In a way I like being the one who takes care of everyone by doing things that I know have to be done. I mean who can survive without clean dishes or laundry? Maybe its my way to feel like I'm contributing to the house? Sure doing those things is part of mine and Mike's agreement. And yes he would help me if I asked although I doubt he would do it with a smile. But more than that I do it all the right way. I know where things go, I know the best way to do things and I know the fastest way to do things. 

And like I said what fun would it be to complain about a life where my husband and kids help me through my daily tasks? Maybe I'm trying to play the martyr. Ok. I'm not doing all of that intentionally it just kind of happens that way. I cant sit still. And I like knowing that there are chores for me to keep me busy, no matter how annoyed I am that we somehow went through twenty pairs of underwear in two days between the four of us. I mean how does that even happen????

How Robins William's death changed me

I know everyone was affected by Robin Williams death. It was a tragedy. It hurts to see those we look up to loose their lives but to loose their life in such a way, god it's so painful. I think it's even more painful for those of us who battle depression, and other diseases similar to it. It is a hard, Hard, HARD disease to fight. And for some it is a forever loosing battle. And for those of us who are still fighting and watch others like us loose, well it makes it that much harder.

 

I actually wrote a post about his death the night I read about it. I cried and cried while writing it. I think it was probably the most honest post I have ever written, and probably the scariest one too. I cant bring myself to post it yet, I don't know if I ever will. It's just too much. There is soooo much feeling in it. Its me in my rawest form. But is that something I really want out there? Is that something people really want to read? Can I handle the judgment I know would come from it?

 

Then there's the questions on the opposite side of the spectrum. Would my post benefit someone else? Would it help others understand what people battling depression feel? Could it possibly reach someone who needs to know that there are others who feel the same as them?

 

I'm sure someone would say well just change what you wrote. Make it not so scary, but then it wouldn't be real. You wouldn't be able to understand the pain that's always there. You wouldn't be able to see the scars this disease leaves on the body, and I mean that literally and figuratively. Writing it without all the feeling almost makes writing about it pointless. Maybe its not the direction I want to take my blog but I feel like its a point that needs to be made...

 

So I am asking those of you who read this blog, who care what I have to say, or who are battling this same disease... tell me what you think. Maybe I can send it to those who I feel need it? Maybe I should just post it and get it all out there and if you don't like it too bad? Or maybe I should just burry it all deep inside like we people like to do? Tell me what you think. Comment, email, or message me. I would like to know what you think.

 

It's all unhealthy

Last night my father in law told us he read an article about the brand of juice boxes the kids drink. He told us how because they are the ones with less carbs that to make it have less carbs they use sweet n low instead of actually sugar to make it "healthier". I'm not a fan of giving the kids juice boxes but when you look at the big picture there really isn't anything out there that's good for them.

 

Juice has sugar and is concentrated and preservatives that aren't good for them. Meat has growth hormones from the animals they come from. Crops have been sprayed with pesticides. Bottled water isn't good because it may not actually be purified and the plastic they keep it in isn't safe especially if heated. Tap water isn't good for them because they put chemicals in the water to keep it clean. Plus any drugs that are in someone's system when they use the toilet go into the water supply and is re-filtered back into the community. Yes its a small trace of drugs that you would be getting but its still there.

 

Our air has been polluted from cars and factories pumping chemicals into them. Lots of our household products have poisons chemicals. Toys and other objects have led in them. Even going outside and going into the water can be dangerous because of bacteria, bugs outside carry diseases. I mean is there really anything out there that is safe for us?

 

I've thought about growing my own garden, which I intend to do very soon but I have to fertilize it don't I? Where am I going to get "clean" fertilizer? Is there even such a thing anymore? We talk about clean eating but is there really such a thing as clean eating? Is there really anything out there that's "healthy" for us? It seems to me that everywhere we look things are labeled organic but really how organic can anything in this world we have created be? How can anything be clean when everything is being polluted? How do we keep ourselves from all of this pollution if its everywhere?

 

I mean the fish in California has now been found contaminated from the radiation leek across the globe! Nothing is safe anymore. So does it really make sense to try and eat really healthy if really there isn't much we can do to prevent the toxins we take in on a daily basis anyways? What's a few extra chemicals in the body?

 

Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of clean eating but really that's all it is. It's an idea. Its something that was put out there to make you think things are getting better. But in reality no matter where you go or what you eat or drink somehow there is toxins in everything. Maybe one day we will somehow find a way to be a cleaner society but as of right now I doubt that could ever happen. So I say what the hell. Let the kids enjoy their juice boxes and chicken nuggets. I can try to shove healthier food down their throats but there's only so much battling about food I can take in a day.

The toy dinosaur conundrum

Tyler has a few dinosaurs that he likes to take around with him. One of them is the famous T-Rex the other is the long neck dinosaur. I had been telling him the dinosaur was an Apatosaurus after I saw the name used on one of his tv shows. But Mike suggested we make sure that's what the dinosaur was so we wouldn't confuse him.

So we just spent twenty minutes online looking up long necked dinosaurs so we would know the proper name to call this certain dinosaur. It turns out its a Brachiosaurus which took much deliberation and scrutiny to figure out. We also went a little further to learn more about them and what era his two dinosaurs are from. And by the way Jurrasic Park the movie was inaccurate because the T-Rex is from the crustacean period, not the Jurrasic like the Brachiosaurus.

I did not wake up this morning expecting to delve into dinosaur knowledge but here I am relearning some of what I'm sure I learned in grade school. I do this all for my kids. I want them to know things. I want to know things. I want to be able to say yeah I taught my kid that. I don't want to be one of those parents who stares at their kids homework and is like uh duh. I'm sure I will be one of those anyway but I will at least do what I can to prevent that from happening. And if it means spending an extra few minutes looking up dinosaurs or the proper names of clouds and so on then so be it.

And maybe, just maybe. If I do all this research on my own some of it will stick this time so I'm not relearning everything over and over because seriously it's so annoying!

20 things Mike does that drives me crazy

1. Leaves dishes on the counter or in the sink
2. When helping kids clean up toys he doesn't take the extra time to put it all away where it goes he just throws it in the black whole that is their toy box.
3. Instead of getting in the shower and spraying it down which would take like 5 seconds he has to let me know when the shower is getting disgusting
4. I never hear anything about his work or what happened during the day from him, it always second hand from another family member if it was a bad day
5. I have to ask him for cash we I need money and if I forgot to ask that morning I am out of luck for the day
6. He cant stand sleeping in the bed with me because I roll around a lot
7. He snores
8.He notices and comments when the house is dirty but not when its clean
9. He doesn't replace the toilet paper in the container above the toilet if the first roll runs out
10. He doesn't put things away where they are supposed to go he just leaves them on the counter because its convenient for him
11. He doesn't cook
12. He hardly ever takes out the trash
13. He is terrible at recycling
14. He never tells me when he needs something from the store until after I have gone shopping and I'm home
15. He leaves empty boxes of cereal and such in the pantry so I don't know he needs new stuff
16. He eats my snacks
17. He doesn't like my cooking half of the time
18. He doesn't like most of the same shows that I do
19. He harasses me about my irritating throat clearing
20. He farts and its ok but if I do it then its disgusting

Yeah I know some of these things are stupid but it can still tick me off!

Stop touching that!

So Lil has this fasciation with her "peepee" I know it is normal for kids to be curious about it but I would just like to know when this faze ends. She always reaches down when you are changing her and she messes with it whenever she can. When she is in the shower or bath she is always grabbing her front or back and she even tries to grab Tyler's sometimes.

Tyler was like that for a little while but it stopped and now he wants nothing to do with it, he doesn't even like to hold it to pee. But Lily is all about every ones privates. I'm guessing girls are different than boys? Not really sure how long this will go on but I'm hoping it will end soon. Any other mommy's have/had this problem with your kids? When does it end?

Diaper crisis

http://news.msn.com/us/lack-of-diapers-can-cause-serious-problems-for-families

I'm not gonna say much here. What can I really say? That this story is sad? That we need to start donating diapers to help families in need? It doesn't really matter what I say because people are only going to change and help others only if they want to. I just want to put this link up here so that people can see that there really are people out their that need help. Their are children out there that need help. They need diapers and wipes, things that their mothers and fathers cant always supply for them.

Sometimes we need help, and sometimes other people need help too. We should help others whenever we can and whenever we are able to. I hope that everyone who reads this article is able to see that even a little bit could help a family in need. And I hope that everyone who reads this article also gives something, even just a little to their local shelter or women's clinic, or where ever to help a family or child in need.

Flat spots

http://www.nbcnews.com/health/1201-am-monday-embargo-nearly-half-babies-have-flat-spots-6C10551689

My kids never had flat spots on their heads, probably because they both seemed to inherit my gene of rolling all over the place while sleeping. Ever since they were little and could first roll over they rolled over in their sleep, they thrashed around all night never leaving their head in one place long enough to get a flat spot thankfully.

But the flat spots is happening to often now. Its something we are hearing more and more about now, and it is scary. Not as scary as SIDS, but both of these things keep happening, so we as parents need to keep an eye on our children while they sleep to try and prevent both of these things from happening.

So remember, if you put a blanket on your baby tuck it under their arms towards the lower half of their body. If you lay your kid down in the bed, try not to put them in the same spot on the mattress each night, and try to turn their head more one way or the other to keep their heads even.

New Type of Purse Snatching! Beware ladies!

http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/sliders-crime-wave-hits-motorists-131443338.html

This is a new thing happening, thieves have found a new sneaky way to steal our purses.

When I am driving alone (without Mike) I leave my purse on the front seat, which I am sure a lot of women do. Well when you get out to pump gas do you usually bring your purse with you? No, not likely, it sits on the seat where it was. Well these new thieves called "Sliders" pull up alongside your car while you are pumping gas, quietly open your door and pull your purse out without you even knowing.

Apparently they are doing what they can to avoid confrontation which is better for us but not that we are still getting jacked. So next time you are pumping gas take your keys out and lock your doors, put your purse in the back, and keep an eye out for other people who may not be as aware of this new issue as you are now. We gotta help each other out! So pass the word!

There is too much happening now

There seems to be so many disasters happening lately it's overwhelming. The storms and floods. There's the big fire and now two plane crashes. It's terrible that there are so many families out there hurting from all these natural and some man made disasters. It's overwhelming to read the news and see that each week there is a new tragedy. It hurts my heart to think about all the families out there hurting from one of these terrible events and I just want everyone out there to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. That I hope soon all of this big stuff will be over and the media can go back to commenting on petty  things that don't drastically change any persons life. But it is times like these that we need to be there for eachother and to support eachother. It's times like these that we need to let our humanity shine and we need to be kind to eachother. And I hope that all these tragedies will be the last of them for a long time.

Wake up call

Getting pregnant with Tyler was a big wake up call for me. I was 19 and wanted a baby bad, but the lifestyle I was living was not practical to raise a child in. And with my medical background it made things a little more tricky. Its weird to understand how it happened but from the moment I found out I was pregnant my life began to change. I knew I couldn't keep going through life the way I was. I knew I had to take care of myself to be able to take care of my kid. It didn't hit Mike as fast though. I have heard from many people that most guys do not actually feel like a dad until the baby is born while most moms feel it from the moment they take the pregnancy test.

 

It was a rough couple of months being pregnant and trying to get my life on track while Mike was still in party mode. I don't hold it against him because I understand that it was different for him, and he and I were not exactly the best couple when we found out we were pregnant. He was there for me as much as he could be but he just didn't understand everything that I was going through and how I was feeling and how to react to me. It was a really tough time, and I am not going to lie and say that being pregnant with Lily was any better. I think being pregnant with her was more difficult for other reasons than the first pregnancy, which also had a huge effect on mine and Mikes relationship.

 

So the wake up call came for each of us at a different time but it happened for both of us. And I got to be there and experience it first hand when Mike had his. He was so amazing during the operation, he did everything I asked him to and he was there for me. And I could see it in his eyes when they walked past us with Tyler that everything from that moment on had changed for him. He was now a daddy and he was determined to be a damn good one, which he has obviously succeeded at.

 

But I just want whoever is reading this to understand that it happens at different time for everyone. Just because your may not be jumping up and down the moment that you are does not mean it wont happen. It could happen anytime, even after the birth. Some people just need time to process  it, and there are some people who are happy and excited but don't know how to show it. It does not mean that you can write them off if they are not on board with everything the second you are. It takes time for people, so just remember that.

 

What would a gypsy do?

I love that show My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding, and all the shows like it. And after watching al the episodes I sometimes find myself wondering what would a gypsy do? Probably not in the ways you would think though. I look at my clutter of crap in the closets that I can't seem to get rid of and I say to myself if I were a traveling gypsy I could not have all of this so what would I have to get rid of. And this actually helps a lot! I am able to sort through the mess and get rid of a lot of things that I would have otherwise held on to.

When I am cleaning and I have trouble getting a stain our or something I think back to stuff I have seen on their shows and I do what they did and it usually works! Like using wood cleaner on stainless steal, it works amazingly!

So although I do enjoy the drama that comes with the show I actually get a little bit of other things out of it sometimes and for that I am thankful to the gypsy women!

Donuts

I did a bunch of silly workout stuff all day yesterday as a new routine to get my butt into shape so I can look sexy on my honeymoon. I don't care about fitting into a smaller size dress because they put this thing on you that makes you shrink about 2 sizes. I care about looking good for my man on my honeymoon when he takes my dress off. There are only so many cosmetic things I will be able to fix but I want to fix as much as possible so he thinks I look great and so I can feel great.

But today he goes out and gets donuts. Of course I can't pass up donuts, I love them. And if I were not on my period and cramping like a mother then I would have forced myself to forgo them. But luckily for me I am bleeding out for another day or so. So I will indulge in the chocolate heaven until it is over. And then I am going to be eating healthy and working my ass off to find at least a two pack hidden under this baby belly fat!

Yes, this is finally happening. So if anyone else wants to jump on the at healthy, working out band wagon with me then now is the time. I can be very bitchy when I don't get my sweets which may be perfect motivation for some one else, plus I could really use a person to talk to who is as miserable as me.... Any takers?