Wake up call

Getting pregnant with Tyler was a big wake up call for me. I was 19 and wanted a baby bad, but the lifestyle I was living was not practical to raise a child in. And with my medical background it made things a little more tricky. Its weird to understand how it happened but from the moment I found out I was pregnant my life began to change. I knew I couldn't keep going through life the way I was. I knew I had to take care of myself to be able to take care of my kid. It didn't hit Mike as fast though. I have heard from many people that most guys do not actually feel like a dad until the baby is born while most moms feel it from the moment they take the pregnancy test.

 

It was a rough couple of months being pregnant and trying to get my life on track while Mike was still in party mode. I don't hold it against him because I understand that it was different for him, and he and I were not exactly the best couple when we found out we were pregnant. He was there for me as much as he could be but he just didn't understand everything that I was going through and how I was feeling and how to react to me. It was a really tough time, and I am not going to lie and say that being pregnant with Lily was any better. I think being pregnant with her was more difficult for other reasons than the first pregnancy, which also had a huge effect on mine and Mikes relationship.

 

So the wake up call came for each of us at a different time but it happened for both of us. And I got to be there and experience it first hand when Mike had his. He was so amazing during the operation, he did everything I asked him to and he was there for me. And I could see it in his eyes when they walked past us with Tyler that everything from that moment on had changed for him. He was now a daddy and he was determined to be a damn good one, which he has obviously succeeded at.

 

But I just want whoever is reading this to understand that it happens at different time for everyone. Just because your may not be jumping up and down the moment that you are does not mean it wont happen. It could happen anytime, even after the birth. Some people just need time to process  it, and there are some people who are happy and excited but don't know how to show it. It does not mean that you can write them off if they are not on board with everything the second you are. It takes time for people, so just remember that.