Hey Trannys get your own bathroom!

I'm sure all of my readers agree with me here, transgenders using the bathroom is the worst thing that could ever happen to this world! Forget world hunger, the homeless, war, poverty, rape, sexism, and all that other crap. Trannys feeling free to use whatever bathroom they want, that's what's going to bring the world down! I mean what are they thinking!? A woman who was once a man should never be allowed to be in a closed stall next to my kid!

That's an abombination! A(bomb)ination, get it? Because some asshole stuck a bomb in the Target bathrooms to protest this new bathroom "issue". Because somehow a person going into a friggin stall to do their business means a bomb should be set off to scare those "unwanted" people off. Who is that going to show? Hmm? Who are we trying to teach a lesson? Because now nobody is gonna want to use the bathrooms in fear of a bomb blowing them up! All because these people want to pee and a few people have something against it!

I love how people use the excuse of "well that means any person could dress up as the opposite gender and sneak in and molest women or little kids in the bathroom". Buttttt, in protest, men are dressing up in wigs and marching around the stores to prove a point? That what, a five dollar wig is atrocious on anyone? What exactly do they think they will prove? So what happens when a man who dresses as a woman and looks a lot like a woman comes into a men's bathroom? This man has a surgically created vagina, there is no longer a penis there, and she(formerly he) has to use the mens bathroom because she was born a he, tell me that wont make some people uncomfortable. Tell me that wont make her uncomfortable. And so how is she to prove she was once a man? Show her new and flashy vagina and say look there, at that scar... that was once a penis?

I don't get it. I don't get the problem people are complaining about. I get that people are scared of the unknown but to set off a bomb in protest? To immediate people in protest? To make everyone scared to PEE all in protest? I go to Target a couple times a week with both of my kids. Now I'm going to be scared to take them into the bathroom not because a woman who was once a man is in there with us but because there may be a bomb under my kids butt.

I'm not afraid of being in a bathroom with someone whose gender or clothing may not match what they were determined at birth. I'm not afraid that a predator is going to dress up as a woman so he can molest me and my kids. I know statistically that's very unlikely. I know that statistically my kids are more likely to get raped at a party, like I did. So I don't care if a she that used to be a he stands next to me at the sink in the bathroom. I don't care if she stands behind us in line because chances are she has had some similar or probably worse type of experience than I have.

And I wont treat her any differently because it is her choice or her feeling inside that makes her who she is. And if my kids notice the she that used to be a he and they ask a question about that I will tell them that she is where she belongs because she is here to pee just like us. Except for when its a number 2.

This is the year

This is it. This year, this is when it all begins. The super early mornings, the late nights catching up on chores, the endless activities, the need to do more.

I'm not quite sure what changed in me. Maybe it's the fact that I now have a kid who goes to school full time and is in kindergarten. Maybe it's all those horrific news articles I come across. Maybe it's me trying to "fit it". Or maybe it's me doing all this to try to feel like I'm a better mom, like I'm doing this job the best I can...

PTO started. I'd promised myself before I had kids that I'd never be one of those moms. I promised myself to be as un-involved in all of these after school parent things as much as possible. I did not want to become one of those fabled catty women who center their lives around their kids school and do everything to prove they are the best mom around. And now I've only made it one year and I suddenly feel the need to become that overachiever mom.

What happened? I was so content for 5 years of being the mediocre mom. The mom who nobody applauded or pointed fingers at. Just something in the middle, that's all I wanted. But now? Nooo. Not now. I want it all. I want the extra curricular activities, I want to volunteer at the school. I even joined the PTO and am joining SAC! It's amazing what you would do for your kids. The length you would go to make sure they are happy and safe. That's really what this new me is about.

I'm scared to leave my kids alone. I'm scared I could be holding them back. I'm scared to let them go places I'm not, be around people I don't know. So I have to. I have to get involved. I have to find things for my kids to do to get out of the house but a way that I can supervise somehow. I want to know what they are doing all day when they are away from me. I want to know who is around them and know the info before I read it online.

It doesn't just stop at wanting to constantly supervise and be the helicopter mom I pretend I'm not.

My mom never signed us up for anything, she never got on the PTO but she really couldn't have. Being a single mom working full time and going back to school after hours took up all her time. It was hard enough for her. She wanted to better herself for us and didn't have time for extra curricular activities. I don't blame her for that but I remember wishing I could do things like that. Although me being the quitter I was in high school it's probably better she didn't spend a bunch of money trying to put me in activities I'd give up on anyways.

 But now, being a stay at home mom, I have the opportunity and time to let my kids do these things, anything really, anything they want to do- within reason. So why not? I'm ok with being the joke to my friends for being the world's biggest hypocrite. I'm ok with driving the "mom van" as my brother calls it, although a SUV is not a mom van!! I'm ok with being the cranky mom at all the sports meets because I'm so tired all the time from running around. I'm ok with all of that because I'd be doing it for my kids, because right now I have the time. I'm ok with getting only a few hours of sleep a night because I get up early to make sure lunch is made and breakfast is eaten. I'm ok with doing all this insane selfless stuff to make my kids happy... for now at least.

I'm tired of being a mom

I'm tired. I am just so damn tired. There are days... just. God there are days and they just go on and on and on and on and on and on. Get the picture?

Being a mom is exhausting... that word doesn't seem fit to describe how tired being a mom makes me, you, anyone? Ok sure it may be this way for dads too, I'm not discriminating. But jeeze. It really is just tiring. 

When I look at it on a grand scale-what I do in a day- it doesn't seem like much. Sure some days I feel really accomplished but even when I look back on the day I'm like that stuff took me all day? The answer is yes. Yes it took me all day. Everything takes me all day. You want to know why? Because of kids! 

A doctor's visit is usually what an hour? Nope its like 5 days when your with kids: Stop. Don't touch that. Sit down. That's dangerous. That's a tongue depressor. Don't eat that. We have to wait. Just be patient. Almost done. Give me a minute. Please stop talking so I can hear the doctor. You have to go potty, now? Don't hit him/her. Mommy is talking. Ssshhh. Wait. That's enough. Just a second. I swear I have a dry throat by the time we leave the doctors! And that was an hour of my life that felt like 5 days! 

How about breakfast... now breakfast has a time limit. So does getting dressed in the morning. So does brushing teeth. So does putting on shoes. All of these things now have time limits since Tyler started school. Now me I could get dressed, brush my teeth, eat my breakfast, and put my shoes on in ten minutes. I did it everyday before high school and everyday I ever worked and even now I can do it. But somehow that's not how kids work. For kids it goes something like this:

Get dressed. I'm getting dressed. Get dressed. I am. No your not, your still naked. I have to go potty. So go potty. Ok. Are you done? No. Hurry up. Ok. Are you done? Not yet. Finally, now get dressed. I am. Are you? Yes. Then why are you playing with your toys? I want to play. But I said get dressed. 

Now eat your breakfast. I want to watch TV. And I said eat your breakfast. Ok. Eat. Ok. That means take a bite of your food. Ok. Its been 5 minutes, you haven't even taken a bite. I have to break up my pop-tart. So do it and eat it. I am. No your just staring at it, eat it! Ok. (twenty minutes later after I have harassed him to eat the entire time) You done yet? No. You haven't even eaten half of it! Eat! We are going to be late. (ten minutes later and hes still eating.) Are you done? I want to watch TV. You don't have time. I told you if you finished in time you could. You didn't finish in time. (a small temper-tantrum happens and finally he finishes his food) 

Ok. Lets brush your teeth. Ok. I'm in the bathroom waiting for you, where are you? I'm coming. Come on, hurry up. Ok. (we brush his teeth while he gags just for the hell of it the entire time) Now go put your shoes on. Ok. (while I'm brushing lily's teeth he finds something else to do besides putting his shoes on) Put your shoes on! I am! Then why are they in the other room and your in this room! Oh. 

Yes. This happens EVERY morning. It doesn't matter if we wake up 30 minutes before we leave or 45 minutes before we leave. It doesn't matter. He finds a way to be late EVERY day! I am tired of it. Just so tired. And don't say oh he's only been going to school for 3 weeks, I know that. You think that's when this started? No. This started when he started being able to do things by himself. He doesn't feel the need to rush to go anywhere. In fact the more rushed I am the more he takes his time.

I know your saying well take extra time to get ready. I do, I have. It doesn't matter. He always always finds a way to make us late. It could be: Oh I forgot my hat. or I have to go potty (even though he just went potty) or there's something in my shoe or whatever other stuff he can find.

It's because of this, all of this, not even including Lil that I'm tired. I am just tired of being a mom. I know, I know... I have a long way to go. That doesn't mean I cant be tired though right!?

I'll make a liar out of you

Sooooo... you know how the other day I went on this huge rant about how Tyler will never get used to being dropped off at school? That everyday I'll have to fight him to get out and men will have to gird their loins when he is near? Well, I would like to know who showed my kid that post! How do I know someone showed him the post you ask? Welllllllll because the very next day, yes the day right after I posted it and each day since he has skipped away from the car. Yes skipped. You read it right. My son, the one who just a few days ago kicked the crap out of a mans balls and tried to run off skipped over to his teacher.

 

So this is how I KNOW someone showed him my post. How you may ask... well because he only ever does or thinks the opposite of what I say.

 

"Tyler look at the blue sky."

"Mommy its purple."

"Oh I'm sorry, you're right. It's purple."

"Nope mommy its blue."

 

 That could be our conversation at any given moment of the day. That's how much of a liar he thinks I am, and why? Why am I the liar? What did I ever do to deserve to be told I'm wrong every time I say something by my 4 year old and then by my 2 year old who of course follows along with whatever her brother says.

 

Yes you read that right. So not only am I arguing with my son about the blue sky but I have my 2 year old saying "No mommy, it's purple." Just like that. She takes his side and I know that its 2 against 1. No matter how right I may think I am I'm wrong. How does that even happen? How? How? When did I go from knowing everything to knowing nothing? It use to be "mommy what color is that?" and I would respond with "It's blue hunny." and he would say "Blue? Ok. Blue." And now its a fight. A fight about a color! And a fight about every other aspect as to which I thought I was telling the truth.

 

"Is papa coming today mommy?"

 "No not today."

 "Yes he is."

"No he's not."

He laughs. "Yes he is."

"No, no he's not coming today."

"He is mommy."

 

Oh really? Because you know this how? Did you get on the phone with him and arrange a meeting cause I know I didn't. I could say this all day long but somehow no matter how much I say it he will tell me I'm wrong.... sooo back to what I was saying. THIS, all that up there is how I know, I KNOW someone read that little man my post. And I would like to know who the culprit is... so I can thank them. Because if all I have to do is make a post a day about something I know will never happen even if I want it to and then it magically changes the next day then I'll make 200 posts a day!

 

And this my friends -who do not have children yet or have children younger than mine- is what YOU all get to look forward to. Remember that fight you had with your partner last night? The one where you both think you won. Well that's gonna end soon when your kid hits this age. You will forever be wrong until finally one day you are right and it just doesn't even matter anymore. Yes mom if you are reading this then you're reading it right. I'm admitting that you were wrong for a very, very, very, very long time and then finally one day you were right... Don't get all cocky now or anything or I'll delete this post! ;)
 

I take it back

I made a post the other day about plus size Barbies. I still think that the "obese" Barbie is too much. But when did we all of a sudden become concerned with Barbies image? I don't remember ever saying wow I really want to be super skinny and tall like Barbie. I remember thinking how pretty she was or how amazing her clothes were. I watched the Barbie movie with the real woman playing Barbie, I loved it. But I never compared myself to Barbie.

 

What does that say about our generation now ? if when I was a kid, 20 years ago nobody thought to question Barbies looks. She just looked how she looked. Who said oh look how skinny Barbie is, she's setting a bad example for children we need a more normal looking Babrie? Nobody that I can remember. Nobody really thought of that stuff that I know of. But now all of a sudden it's a problem?

 

No. You know what the problem is? Parents. Parents and grandparents used to be their children's roll models not a freaking toy! Parents used to monitor what their children were eating, making sure they ate moderately healthy so they didn't become obese. Parents made their kids get out their and play outside so they didn't become part of the couch. Parents monitored what their children were doing because they were concerned about them.

 

And what do parents do now? Nothing. Ok, we'll not all of them do nothing. Some parents are still active in theirs kids lives, others barely even know their kid exists. I'll admit that sometimes I am that way with my kids but I think I pay enough attention to them to notice their behavior, and eating habits, and who their roll model is... No it's not me, I'm sure they would both say daddy of course. But that's good because he is a much better roll model for them than I am and I know that. And it's that reason right there that I'm trying to become a better roll model for my kids. All parents should be doing this rather than put the blame on social media, and toys, and games and movies. 

 

Pay attention to your kids! Stop placing blame on other people. Barbie shouldn't have to be changed because a parent feels insecure about what their child might feel about their self as they grow older. Well.... Here's a thought. Maybe all that time you spend ranting about how they should change a toy to look more "average" instead you should spend that time building up your child's self esteem so they won't ever have to compare themselves to a toy! Because then what happens when they change the toy to a more "average" look? All the people who aren't "average" will want one like them too. And then picking out a Barbie in the store will be like picking out a car at the auto mall. There will be literally stores full of just Barbies to please every person!

 

Everyday I make sure to tell my kids how smart, handsome, beautiful, creative, amazing, sweet, kind, they are and how proud of them I am. I call Lil tubs and fats but I love her so much because she has all that chunk. I don't love her more because of it, I'd love her so much either way but dammit if those fat little legs and tubby belly make me giggle and want to pinch and tickle her. You can ask her who has a big fat belly and she will say "me" she will pull her shirt up to show her belly so you can kiss it. She is proud of every inch of herself and so am I. And if the day comes where she starts to get overweight or she gets to skinny you bet I'll let her know but only because I'm concerned about health risks. 

 

I don't care about their weight or their looks I care about what's inside. I don't want them to be self conscious like me and I will do everything possible to make sure they never feel this way. I'll do whatever I can to keep societies awful ideas of perfect out of their heads. They are perfect to me and to our family and they will know that's all that matters because out their in the real world you will always be criticized for something whether your too fat, too skinny, to flabby, too muscular, too tall, too short, too dark, too light and so on and so on. Let society think that about you and your kids but don't let you or your kids think that way about yourselves. We can't blame toys for our self esteem, that's just too stupid and too much of a cop out if you ask me.

 

So parents grow up. Be a better role model for your children and if you cant then find someone who can!

Sick kid responsibilities

So Lil is sick again. The doc and I are pretty sure its allergies that have been plaguing her the past few months but knowing the cause doesn't make the symptoms just stop.

 

As a parent there are thing we have to do for our kids sometimes that can often make our life more difficult. One of those things is dealing with a sick kid. If you have kids then you probably already know where I'm going with this. If your kids are still just little infants than you probably haven't gotten the full effect of dealing with a sick kid yet. Just wait, your time will come.

 

Here are a few things you have to look forward to when your kid is older and possibly walking or talking and more...

 

Vomit: While in the beginning the spit up was gross it is nothing compared to what comes when they are eating solid foods. Also when they are little it is generally in one place, sure there is a little projectile happening but when they are older its like when they are sick their only purpose is to puke on everything possible.

 

Poop: Yup. When they are sick pooping their pants happens, even if they are no longer using diapers. For them its about as controllable at the vomit and instead of staying in one spot and finishing they feel the need to run to the bathroom to make sure that there is a trail of it for you to clean up.

 

Pee: Sure its not as bad as poop but still to deal with it on its own is not fun. Especially when they are knocked out on cold medicine and didn't even realize when they peed your bed in the middle of the night. Now you are stuck trying to move an extremely heavy unconscious kid (because for some reason they are always heavier when they are sleeping) from the bed and change the sheets all while your still half asleep.

 

Sleep: Yeah say goodbye to that while your kids are sick. They will want to sleep and mope around the house all day and somehow they sleep perfectly during the day. Night time comes and suddenly when they lay down they cant breathe. It didn't happen during the day but something about you being tired from taking care of them all day makes it harder for them to breathe at night and therefore they need your assistance. So instead of laying down and sleeping comfortably like you would like to, you are stuck sitting up all night so you can keep your kid propped up enough so they can breathe and snore and blow snot bubbles in your face.

 

Snot: Somehow your kids nose becomes some kind of fast leaking faucet. They don't take in nearly enough liquids to replenish the amount of snot they are loosing from their nose yet somehow that tap doesn't seem to ever run dry and after the sickness is over you are stuck wiping dried snot off the back of the couch, the tv screen, every toy and once clean surface in the house.

 

Coughing: Until you become a parent you are never fully aware of how many types of coughs one person can have.

• There is the flem cough where when they couch it sounds like a puddle is trying to be sucked back up through their windpipe.
• There is the rasping cough where every time you hear it you cringe because it makes your throat sore just thinking about how that must feel.
• There is the dog cough. Where your kid just sounds like a huge bull mastiff has found its way into your kids throat because there is no way that deep noise could possibly have come out of your kid on it own.
• There is the dry cough where it sounds like your kid is trying to cough something out yet no matter how much they do it whatever is in there isn't budging.
• There is also the choking cough, where it started off as a normal cough and then that thing just took on a mind of its own and only the cough will decide when this coughing fit will end.

I think its safe to say that no parent looks forward to sick days with their kid. Yes its nice that they want to cuddle and even if they are independent normally when they are sick all they want is mommy or daddy. But all the other crap that comes along with being sick is a nightmare. It doesn't matter if its allergies or a virus or a cold no parent likes to see their child suffer through anything like that. And even worse no parent likes to deal with the suffering kid either.

 

 

17 things every mom or a toddler says at least once a day

1. No
2. Stop it
3. Thank you
4. Please
5. I'm warning you
6. Timeout
7. That's enough
8. Be nice
9. Calm down
10. Sit down
11. Eat
12. Don't do that
13. Excuse me
14. In a minute
15. Do you want a drink
16. I love you
17. Your so smart

These numbers are not in order of most said. And I'm sure I left quite a few out so if you think of anymore please feel free to post them below. :)

I don't want to

Oh yes. The defiant cross my arms, pout my lip, and the angry heat burning in their eyes. I know every parent has seen this at least once in their life. If you have a toddler you probably see it every day. This is Lil's new favorite response to almost everything. I swear this little rebel will be the end of me. She pushes your buttons until you are about to pop and you know she loves every second of it. And then when things don't go her way man do you get an earful.

She has also started the scream. You know what I'm talking about. The scream that if I don't get my way now I'm gonna scream until it happens. Well go ahead missy. Wear out your vocal cords with that screaming because it aint gonna happen, not with that attitude. When she finally calms down she knows to apologize, I don't even need to tell her to anymore. She just says mommy I'm sorry for being nasty. And I say thank you for apologizing, now are you ready to tell me nicely what you want? And that's it. The problem is over.

I have seen this reaction in kids before and sometimes the parents give in and that is THE WRONG THING TO DO! Never give in to those temper tantrums. If your in a restaurant take your kid outside to cool off and then let them know you are going back in and they need to behave. Make sure you have something to occupy their time while you finish your meal. If you know ahead of time your kid is going to act up in the grocery store why not prevent it? Each time we go to the store I either get them a cookie ahead of time so by the time I'm finished shopping they are just finishing their cookie. Or I promise them a piece of candy if they behave.

Some people might think this isn't the way to teach your kids stuff but why not try to avoid the melt down before it happens? Why not do things to prevent it? And if they don't behave they don't get rewarded. This system may not be good for real life but do we really need to plan ahead for their whole life at the age of two? Is that necessary? They still have sixteen more years to learn the proper life lessons. Sure it might be easier in the long run but I'm more focused on the what's happening now so I'm not miserable for sixteen more years. So that by the time they are grown I'm kicking them out of the house. I want to enjoy my time with them, not resent them. And if bribing them is what does this then so be it!

All those in favor of taking it one day at time say I!

Who's the boss?

So recently Mike's mom babysat the kids for a day for us while Mike and I worked. When I got home she told me how the day went. One of things she said is when the kids were misbehaving or not listening she would tell them she's the boss and they need to listen to her and it worked. I figured wth maybe I'll try it out myself and guess what?! It works!!

 

Now if the kids are bossing each other around or not listening all I have to say is who's the boss? and the stop and say your the boss mommy. And I say good, now you don't do that or you need to listen to mommy, depending on the situation.

 

I am so impressed with how well this parenting tactic works! I thought it was going to be chaos forever with them never listening to me and always bossing the other around. It has gotten better at times but sometimes they are still the same but it only takes a quick reminding on the authority in our house and things go back to how they should for at least a little while.

 

If you are having trouble with your kids not listening or bossing each other around I really suggest using this technique. It has changed stuff so much around here. And the funny part about it is they only refer to me as the boss. Daddy is not the boss just mommy, of course they still listen to him but I giggle every time they tell him he's not the boss mommy is. That's right! I'm the boss Mr.! Hehe!

I'm a screamer

I know it's bad to yell at your kids. And I try my hardest not to, but damn do they push my buttons all day long just waiting for me to get to that point. I go to therapy to try and work on my anger and my temper. I have to practice taking a moment to myself to calm down. I think that I have gotten better at it but there is still room for a lot of improvement.

I promised myself that this year would be the big year that I change for the better. I am learning to love myself, to let things go, and to just be a better person, but fuck its hard! I don't want my kids to grow up and be as negative and angry and to hold grudges like I do. I want my kids to be the best people they can be and I have to fix myself so I can set a good example for them.

They are so smart so they pick up on things fast. I don't want them to learn to act like angry bad people, I want them to grow up to be nice, kind, honest people. And if I don't set an example for them who will? Sure Mike is honest and he has a great heart and he doesn't hold grudges but if they only see it happening from one parent then odds are at least one of them might come out as bitter as I am. And that is why I am making such an effort to fulfill all my New Years resolutions, its for my kids. So hopefully by this time next year I can say that I accomplished all of them and that I am really on a better path in life.

Different parenting styles

So Mike and I are like polar opposites when it comes to like EVERYTHING. We cant ever seem to agree on the same thing, EVER. If I say something is black he says its white, if he says its wrong I say its right. And it is so frustrating! I don't know how it is possible for us to think completely the opposite of each other!

He feels one way about parenting and I feel another way. But the thing about parenting is you can't let your kids know you guys are on opposite sides. If they know that you are not a team they will use it against you.

I don't really like giving the kids sweets, or juice drinks. Mike doesn't see the problem with it. The juice drinks we get for the kids are watered down and he thinks that is good enough. He thinks that they should get candy and whatever whenever they are good or doing something cute I think. I try to save it for special occasions. When we go to the store I don't mind getting them a cookie because it keeps them happy and calm the entire time in the store and that makes it so much easier for me! But I don't want them to think a constant sweet diet is ok.

 

Of course he knows that they need to eat good to, eat all of their dinner or whatever before they get candy but they don't need candy all the time after they eat good! This is just one of the many things that we argue about with the kids. But I am glad that if I say no to something even if he thinks it is ok he will agree with me because its important for the kids to know that they cant use us against each other. I am the same way when he says something and I have to say it is really nice being united against these trouble makers. It is nice to know that he will have my back if they throw a tantrum because they don't get their way.

I think it is so important that before you have kids you talk with your partner about  parenting styles you believe in. It will help you out later when the kids try and trick you into stuff to already know how your partner would have handled it if they were there. If your kids spot your weakness when they are young you bet your ass they will use that against you as long as they can. They are tricky little things, and they are super smart and they learn to turn you against each

other early so make sure you are united from the start. You may have to give in sometimes but it is for the best to at least be on the same page!