I know it's bad to yell at your kids. And I try my hardest not to, but damn do they push my buttons all day long just waiting for me to get to that point. I go to therapy to try and work on my anger and my temper. I have to practice taking a moment to myself to calm down. I think that I have gotten better at it but there is still room for a lot of improvement.
I promised myself that this year would be the big year that I change for the better. I am learning to love myself, to let things go, and to just be a better person, but fuck its hard! I don't want my kids to grow up and be as negative and angry and to hold grudges like I do. I want my kids to be the best people they can be and I have to fix myself so I can set a good example for them.
They are so smart so they pick up on things fast. I don't want them to learn to act like angry bad people, I want them to grow up to be nice, kind, honest people. And if I don't set an example for them who will? Sure Mike is honest and he has a great heart and he doesn't hold grudges but if they only see it happening from one parent then odds are at least one of them might come out as bitter as I am. And that is why I am making such an effort to fulfill all my New Years resolutions, its for my kids. So hopefully by this time next year I can say that I accomplished all of them and that I am really on a better path in life.
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