I stopped shaving

For 2 weeks I decided to stop shaving to see what the hype was all about.

Ok. That's a lie. I didn't stop because I wanted to I stopped shaving because I had to. I'm not going to say why because right now because that isn't the point. The point is that I stopped shaving. For two weeks I didn't shave anything. I was finally in the whole "feminist power" trend. Because somehow some people think your anti-feminist if you shave (WTF?).

So there I was, a hairy beast. Conforming to the new "trend" even if I didn't want to. I got to feel what all the hype was about. I got to see what was so great about not worrying about shaving my hair, anywhere. I got to feel liberated because I wasn't having to worry about taking a half hour to shave my body. It was nice, not having to shave. Really nice. Except for the fact that I was hairy. I was a hairy freaking beast!

I endured 2 weeks of hair. Lots and lots of hair. And I came to the conclusion that I would rather shave and risk spreading the wart colony that has taken place on my leg then suffer through another day of hair. So I shaved and I felt liberated! It took me what seemed like five minutes, maybe longer (because the hair was long) but the point is it didn't seem like it took long, not like it used to seem. Suddenly shaving didn't seem like a big deal. It no longer felt like I chore! 

I am free! And somehow (this is the shocker) I'm still a feminist. I'm a feminist who hates hair. I don't conform to social standards because girls should shave. I proved I didn't have to shave. I proved I could go without it. But I didn't like going without it. Because honestly, I hate hair. Like I really really really really hate hair. If there were a way that I could wish away all of my hair except for my eyebrows and head hair I would. But I wouldn't stop there! I would wish away all of Mikes hair except his eyebrows and chest hair (I loooove that chest hair). And then I would wish all of my kids hair aside from their eyebrows and head hair away to. Because I don't just hate my own body hair I hate other people's body hair. 

BUT even if I only hated my hair would that really make me any less of a feminist? Because I "conform" to social standards does that really change how I feel inside? Ummm, let me think. NO! So, I thought I would use this forced time to express how you can still be a feminist while "conforming" to social standards. You don't have to be the unique 1% to believe women have a right to choose. I believe anyone should choose whether they want to shave or not. I'll think they are disgusting for not shaving but that's my opinion and I wont stop them. But I wont be joining that movement anytime soon. Unless you know, these warts don't go away and I have to not shave again for a few weeks. But then there's always Nair...

Set a routine

So its no surprise to any of you that I have suffered with depression for most of my life. Every year around fall it kicks into high gear, I'm not sure why but it always happens. I can feel it slowly starting to creep in as the days pass, placing a heavier weight on my shoulders day by day. I try to hide it, I try to put on a smile and laugh at the things I should even though I don't really feel it. I've been on and off of meds throughout my life (currently on) but it never fully helps and if it is working it sometimes makes you feel worse, like a walking zombie.

I'm so tired of being a slave to these insane emotions. I've been told for years to do meditation, to exercise, do yoga, to heat healthier. I've gone in and out, never fully committing to any of these. I have found it difficult over the past years to really get into eating healthier and exercising... I'm changing that now.

I've set myself up with routines. I try to workout in any form at least 4 days a week. Sometimes I go less if I'm busy but I make up for it the next time I do work out. I push myself harder and harder each time, I feel the burn, the sore muscles afterwards, the absolute tiredness throughout my body but this time I'm embracing it. Even if I don't feel like it sometimes but I have the time I tell myself to bite the bullet and get my butt into gear and it helps. I talk to myself like a trainer would, I tell myself to keep going even when I'm getting tired. I push myself to go on because I know I can and I'm only cheating myself. If I don't push myself to keep going who will? 

You know what I have realized though after staying in this routine for about a month now? It's that I really do feel better! I feel so happy and amazing on the days that I workout... the days that I don't I feel the depression creeping in. I'm hoping that I can soon get rid of it altogether even if it means I have to workout 7 days a week.

Do you know what feels amazing about this whole process? That I can run/walk/play more. For example recently we went to Universal (adults only, incredible right!?) and we walked around that place from 9am to 2am. Yes. Over 12 hours of walking/standing in line. I was the only person out of the 4 of us that could have kept going until god only knows when. I couldn't believe it. Sure I crashed when I finally went to bed at 4am but I could have kept going. That's when I knew, I knew that I have to keep this up. I want to be able to spend hours a day doing some seriously physical activity (like kayaking with 2 kids) and not get tired in the first few minutes. 

Although running, and enjoying it is new to me and it kinda makes me sick to my stomach that I'm enjoying it but it's good for me...

As for the eating healthy part... well I'm working on that. If it's in the house I will eat it. I have to pry my fingers off the box of holiday Pillsbury cookie dough in the store. Food, that's my downfall. Cookie dough, cookies, brownies, chocolate. Yeah all of that, yummy. I doubt I'll ever defeat my hunger for the bad food, I'll give in plenty of times but I'll eat as healthy as I can for the rest of time. I mean, we only live once right? And if eating a little unhealthy now and then takes a year or two off my life, well it's kinda worth it. Can I get an amen?

The second child conundrum

I'm sure every woman out there has had a situation like this happen... you're stuck in a conversation with someone and they are asking you when you'll have kids. Or if you have one they ask if you're having another.

I know I recently asked a friend this who only has one kid. It's an automatic thought, like a must ask question for everyone. Like you're expected to have a certain number of kids. One boy, one girl that's "the perfect family". If you have two girls you're asked if you're trying for a boy, if you have two boys you're asked if you're going to try for a girl. If you have four or five kids people say aren't you done having kids? If you have only one you don't have enough. 

Where did this insane reasoning come from? I have another friend who is pregnant and I'm sure she will get asked a million times by family, friends, and even nosy strangers, if she's hoping for a girl. Why not another boy? Why can't we just leave it as it is. Why do we have to keep prying and trying to get people to conform to the "norm". Why do people always tell me I have the "perfect" family? Trust me it's far from perfect. 

If I had two boys or two girls I could save tons of money on outfits. If it was perfect why does it give me such a headache? It's perfect just because I have a boy and a girl? How does that even make sense? So any other family who doesn't have two kids, one boy and one girl is not perfect? Ug. Gag. Like seriosuly? 

If I hadn't had so many troubles with pregnancies we may have had more kids. Then my family wouldn't be perfect. If we adopt like I hope to do one day then I no longer have a perfect family? Like who in the hell set this stupid standard? Just imagine if your out someplace with your two kids both boys and you hear someone telling abother peron who has a girl and a boy that they have the perfect family. But they don't say that to you. Imagine how that would make you feel. Awful I'm sure. What makes that persons family any more perfect than yours? NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

So please people. For the sake of all parents who don't have two kids, one girl and one boy let's just drop this perfect family stereotype. Just tell them what a beautiful family they have and be done with it. Seriosuly. Because I'm so tired of hearing that perfect family line. I'm so tired of feeling the pressure of asking people if they want more kids. It's none of my business. Have more kids, or dont. Have two boys and stop there, or dont. Just stop asking other people about what their plans are.

I'll try to stop doing this. I'll try to stop feeling the pressure to do this. I'll try to stop just smiling and saying yes I do when someone has the perfect family. I'll try to respond with its no more perfect than anyone elses. And you should try the same. Or don't just know that not everybody appreciates it.

Stop

I just wrote a post complaining, complaining, complaining and when I was seconds away form posting it I stopped. Whats the point of even posting it? It's not like it would change my problems anyways. So why do it?

Sooooo instead I am going to pretend to be positive and act like I can take the high road... for today at least

Face lift to a New Blog!

I have decided to change the name of this blog. It needed it. I needed it. I sometimes felt embarrassed to tell people the name of my blog. Like was I admitting to being a bad mom? I didn't want people to get that impression. I still don't. And I know everywhere I go and everything I do people judge me. But that's because that's how we are. We judge people. ALL. THE. TIME.

But the people we judge the most are ourselves. At first I thought about changing the name because of what other people might think. Then it was because of the things I was posting seemed off topic from my tittle. But now I think it's because I judge myself so harshly. But then I thought about it like this, if I make one small concession and change the name a little if it helps me judge myself less than why wouldn't I do it? If something as stupid as a name can bother my why can't it just be changed? Then I stop worrying and wondering and wishing it was different. Now it is. And I can stop at least one of the arguments going on in my head.

So now I would like to welcome you to my new blog: The Mom who Blogs

Ta da!!

Ooooooh. Aaaaaaah.

The mom that makes other moms look bad

I knew going in that when the kids started school I'd have to deal with those over achieving moms. I knew it was gonna happen but I thought I'd have more time to prepare. Nope, it has started already and his school is only voluntary! He's in preschool. Does it really have to happen so soon? Couldn't I have lived in the blissful life of not feeling the need to compete with other parents just a little bit longer? 

No. Instead my kid comes home today with a homemade telescope, map, eye patch, and coins all for a Jake and the Pirates themed birthday party for a kid named, yes you guessed it Jacob! And of course my kids are in love with it. And of course the mother of Jacob probably made one of these for each of the 20 kids in the class! Not to mention the gift box she sent home for Halloween with home-made items in it too. I swear, if my kid comes home with a mini turkey before Thanksgiving break I'm taking him out of school.

Why the hatin' you may ask. Jealousy maybe? Well she has the motivation to make gifts like that for her kids. All the kids are going to love the awesome things her kid comes to school with while mine comes with cookies or cupcakes? Sure I could become that competitive mom who sends even cooler things to school for the kids but what would be the point? It's not really about me and making the kids love me is it? It's about my kid having fun at school. And me not wanting to set the bar too high.

If I start making homemade gifts now its only going to get tougher to make stuff as he grows. I mean pleasing toddlers is easy what happens when he is in 4th grade and now expects me to send in awesome homemade gifts for his friends? What will I make then? And what happens when he is at the age where other kids might tease about some of the stuff I send in. I could be setting him up for disaster.

But then what if I do nothing? Then I'm the under achieving mom whose kid gets mad fun of anyways. No. That will not happen. I will be the mom who costs through never doing too much or too little. I want kids to like my kid for who he is not for the amount of cool stuff I send to school with him any chance I get. No thank you. 

Oh and nothing against you moms who do, its just not for me. I'm too much of an over thinker to try to do anything like that. I over analyze and it's easier for me to not do it than to obsess over it. But seriously, if she sends a mini turkey to school I'm pulling him out of the for reals.

How to explain God to a 4 year old...

As some of you know I'm not a very religious person. If anything I am kind of antireligious I guess? I don't really put much thought into that whole thing so I don't know. But as a somewhat educated (as much as I can remember) person I would like my children to be aware of all choices out there. I don't want my beliefs to come in the way of something they may want to believe in. I want them to understand different aspects of religions so when the time comes that they may feel the need to choose one they know their options.

 

I don't believe in forcing my beliefs on my children. I want them to believe in whatever they want even if its nothing at all. I will teach them to accept people of all races, genders, and religions. I will accept whatever choices they make in life... as long as they are within reason (things like dropping out of high school are not acceptable) but when it comes to choosing gender or religion I really couldn't care less what they choose to announce themselves as.

 

But before any of this happens they have to know what religion is. Within the past week the topic of death, God, Angels, and Buddha has come up with Tyler and trying to explain this stuff to him was hard. I mean think about talking to a four year old who responds to every statement with a question.

Ex: Me: Well daddy's grandma isn't here anymore.

Tyler: Where is she?

Me: Well, heaven I guess?

Tyler: What's heaven?

Me: Its where God and the Angels live.

Tyler: Who's God and Angels?

Me: Umm...

 

Obviously I did the best I could to explain why Mike's grandma isn't here anymore. And I did my best to explain who God and the Angels are but I'm not sure how much got through. Then there's the topic of death where I don't even know how to approach that. And then we see statues of Buddha so I now have to try to explain not only God but another type of God? And what happens when we see Jesus on the cross? How do I explain THAT to a four year old?

 

I want him to know everything he can but its hard to explain it to someone who can only comprehend so much. So do I say we will come back to this later? I have noooo clue. I do know that when it comes to Holidays I will explain their true meaning to my kids. Not just oh Santa comes this day to bring us presents. I will tell them the story behind it because I feel its an important part of tradition whether I believe in Mary the "virgin" or not.

 

But what do I tell a four year old and a two year old that they will understand? I have basically just been winging it. I answer questions to the point where I cant figure out an answer anymore. Like where do babies come from kind of stops at mommy's belly because then they ask how and then they ask well how did the baby come out?

 

The baby thing is a tough topic, but so is death, and God and then there's all the other stuff out there that I only know so much on. Like how do I even breach these topics? They should seriously make a mandatory parenting class to help parents answer these types of questions for their kids because seriously it gets overwhelming.

 

I've gotten sucked into these questions where at the end Mike and I are looking at each other like WTF just happened here? Or he says why did you tell him that? Well... because he asked? Am I supposed to just lie to him? Or only tell him part of the truth? But then later change the story because he's older and can understand it better but then he's confused as to why I didn't tell him that in the first place. Seriously. This stuff has my mind spinning!

 

I would love to just sit in on another parent and child conversation to see what not to tell my kid. So I can say like yeah...you went to far when you showed the kid how grandpa died but thank you because now I know not to do that. So any parents with a four year old out there who plan to explain the workings of life to their kid in the near future please let me know so I can sit in on that conversation...

I am not just a mother

Some people once they become parents let their lives revolve around their children. I'm not one of those people. I want my own life too. I don't mean I want to go out partying all the time but I do want to be able to get away. I want to have things that I call my own and that I don't have to share with my kids. I want time that I can have to myself.

I don't want the first thing that pops into someone's head about me is she's a mom. Id like someone to think, she's beautiful, she's smart, she's funny, she's honest. I want to be more than just someone's mom. I want to be me, Sarah (Lee). I want to exist without my kids. Not that I don't want my kids but I want to exist even when I'm not around them and catering to them. I want to be loved for being myself not for how I take care of my children.

I'm sure there are other moms out their who feel the same, right? Who don't want the term mom to define themselves. I don't want to be passed over because I am a parent. I should be accepted for other reasons than just motherhood. Am I alone in thinking this?

Plus size Barbie?

So I'm sure some of you have heard about this new idea that has popped up about a plus size Barbie. Yeah, that's right. A plus size Barbie. I posted 2 pictures below. In the pictures is regular Barbie and then a different version of a plus sized Barbie. Now call me crazy but I think the heavier Barbie in the first picture doesn't represent a "plus size" person. It represents an overweight person.

In our messed up society someone who is anything above what like a size 2 is considered plus size. I think anyone below a size 2 should be considered anorexic. Anyone above like a size 10 should be considered plus size. And anyone in between should be considered average. The first picture below clearly depicts an overweight Barbie. This Barbie would be like a size 18. The Barbie on the second picture would probably be like a size 7. That should be the normal Barbie size!

We shouldn't have "normal" Barbie be so thin and tall. That is setting a bad example for girls. That size is often unattainable. And beside who would want to be that anorexic looking? No I think normal Barbie should look more like your average female. She should set a proper example for women. She shouldn't set an unrealistic image or an unhealthy image.

I think making a Barbie to plus size is definitely sending the wrong message. Its no better than putting out the thin Barbie. Both are unhealthy lifestyle examples and we should not be pushing that onto our children. They shouldn't be made to feel like there are only two ways your body can look, anorexic or plus size. There is a huge medium between both of those. That is where we should be directing our children's attention.

I know for sure I will never look like "normal Barbie" and you bet your behind I would never look like obese Barbie either. I am happy with the way I am. I may not look exactly how I want to but I'm working on it. I don't want to be scary thin, I don't want to be obese, I don't want to be a huge muscular woman. I just want a little bit of all of that. I want to be thinner in some places (like my thighs), bigger in some places (like my butt), and muscular in some places (like my arms and abs).

I never looked at Barbie and really wished I looked like her but I know there are people who have. And if you see Barbie as a child and get that image of what you should look like into your head at such a young age then you are doomed for life. Who wants their child to see Barbie and base their looks the rest of their life off of that and if they aren't at "Barbie standards" then they aren't good enough? I certainly don't.

I will be making sure my daughter is always comfortable with herself. That she doesn't look at some anorexic and get unrealistic expectations for herself. Lets face it, she's my kid. Her butt and thighs are going to be huge. And I don't want her to hate herself for that based on what society thinks you should look like. She will know she is beautiful the way she is. And if I catch her overeating or starving herself I'll either take the food away from her or shove some down her throat. I will not let society's fucked up way of thinking poison my daughters mind. I tell her everyday how beautiful she is and all the things I love about her. She will know she is beautiful no matter what society expects of her.

So I am firmly support the making of the Barbie in the second picture. This should be the look of all the Barbie's out there and hopefully we can overcome some of our sickness as a society and put these out there and get rid of anorexic Barbie and the idea of "plus size" Barbie.

Maybe I'm not meant to blog

I haven't written a blog in a while. I know. I've had a bit of inner turmoil recently about blogging and was on the verge of calling it quits. But then I changed my mind.

I've said this before and I will say it again. I don't hate Mike, I don't hate my kids. I don't hate anyone in our family. I cant say that about certain ex family members but I think you at least get the picture. I like my blog because I think it sets a somewhat realistic example of life. Not just life for a parent but life in general. I have struggled through life and I am not ashamed to admit that I still am. I'm not the person I wish I was but I am working my fucking ass off to become that person! I find nothing wrong with taking people along for the ride.

People should know what its really like. I mean you want a kid, go for it. But remember that for the rest of your life nothing will be the same. I mean nothing. Literally. Ever! Your body, your brain, your house, your car, your life. It ALL CHANGES! And I think people are not fully prepared for all of that like they should be. If I can help prepare a few people or even set an example for people from my mistakes then why shouldn't I do this? I enjoy writing, more than I ever thought I would. So I will keep writing. I will keep blogging. And you bet your ass I will paint a realistic picture on how completely fucked up life is damn it!

Kids get it

I found this little post online the otherday and I just though I would share it because it pretty amazing. Children are born not caring about religion, race, or same sex couples, of only there were people out there who would let them be open minded rather then teach them to be so close minded and judgemental. I plan to teach my kids to love everyone for what's inside and nothing else.

MayDay

Has anyone seen that kindle fire commercial where the man presses the mayday button and talks to the woman about his niece coming into town and how he wants to monitor her tablet time. So she shows him how to set a limit. And he responded with something like oh great so I don't have to worry about monitoring her.

I don't think this is a good example we should be setting for society. Oh great the kindle can parent my child's activity time because I will be to busy on my tablet to worry about how long she spends on hers. That is a bunch of crap. Parents should start acting more like parents and worry about their child's time in front of the TV or tablet rather than look for an app or something to monitor them.

This reminds me of all the people who were outraged about Miley on the movie awards. I'm sorry but if you were a good parent and had been paying attention to who and what your children were listening to then you would have known that Miley isn't the same sweet little girl she used to be. She grew up! And you have known that had you been paying attention to anything about your children rather than bury your nose in your phone or tablet!

We were recently letting Tyler watch the Power Puff Girls. He started getting aggressive and I realized it was from watching that show so he is no longer aloud to watch it. I now have to monitor him to make sure when he is on the ipad which isn't often anyways, that he doesn't watch that show. And I do do that. Why? Because its my job as a parent. I could easily block it from him but then it is making me a less attentive and reliable parent and making the tablet more of a parent to him that me so I monitor his usage the way every parent should be doing.

If you are unhappy with the amount of time your kids are spending using technology then maybe you should get involved with them and teach them how to do something else with their time rather than electronically limit their time usage. You think they wont find away around it? They are living in the technological time! Of course they can find a way around it! So parents stop blaming your poor parenting on what they see on TV! Start being a better parent by watching and listening with them so you know what is happening and wont look back on it later and try to blame anyone but yourself!

I get that sometimes we get busy with other things but sometimes the other things can wait. The most important thing is spending time with out children and making sure they grow up properly. Nobody else can teach your child the values of having a good attentive parent more than you can!

For your sanity

Sometimes as a parent you need to take shortcuts like skipping the kids bath for a few days and just wiping them down with a baby wipe.

Sometimes you need to lock the door to the bathroom and take an extra long shower with the music blaring.

Sometimes you need to put your kid in timeout and let them sit there until you can deal with them.

Sometimes you need to just walk away from them at the grocery store when they are throwing a tantrum and say "They aren't mine."

Sometimes in front of other parents you need to pretend like you actually care what your child eats, drinks, and watches on tv, even if you really don't.

Sometimes you need to pretend like you were listening to your kid when they spent 20 minutes telling you a story that could have been told in 2 minutes.

Sometimes you need to tell your spouse that you fed the kids something good for dinner when you really were too tired so you let them eat chips instead.

Sometimes you just need a night out, even if that night is every night of the week.

And sometimes you need to just get the hell over it, you had kids and they are terrible monsters, one day years from now you will see your justice served when they have their own kids who are even worse than them!

How much do you need to get by?

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/much-americans-135403262.html

Have you ever felt like you don't make enough money? Probably every day of your life. I know I have, and I know Mike has. No matter how much more money we seem to make its never enough. The store does better and better each year and we make a little more each year but if I asked him today if he thought he made enough money he would say no.

I asked Mike one day how much money he would want to have saved to feel comfortable and happy with what he makes, his answer "$100,000". We are very very very very very far away from that goal! So it looks like we have lots and lots and lots of years to try to build up to that point. And then what happens? When we have that much saved and we are making more will his idea of how much money we need saved to feel comfortable change? Probably.

It seems like nobody is ever happy with what they have, we always want more. We he told me this it kind of opened my eyes. I realized that we will never be happy if we are always hoping for more. So I have decided that I want to try and come to terms with how much we have and be thankful and happy that we have what we have and try not to hope for more. Obviously its not something I can do overnight, it will take some time but hopefully I can get our little family to think differently about that, its just gonna take some time.

So how much money do you need to get by? How much money would make you feel comfortable with what you have? Do you think it will ever be enough? Will you ever not want more?

Almost taken

http://www.cbs6albany.com/news/features/top-story/stories/teen-chases-down-man-kidnapped-girl-5-9662.shtml?wap=0

This happened a few weeks ago but I think it is still important to post.

I think this is an amazing thing that this young man did. And I applaud his efforts in helping this girl. There could have been a family out their searching for their young child, and possibly never finding her but he prevented that, and now this young girl is safe. Good work Temar! I hope there is more kids out their like you that in a situation like this would do the same. I know if she were my little girl and he saved her I would consider myself to have a new child. I would be eternally grateful and in debt to this young man.

He did an amazing and courageous thing. Who knows what could have happened to either one of them that day. Please take the time to read this short article. And don't forget to remind your children daily to never get into a car with a stranger. Remind your kids to look out for each other and if they see something suspicious to tell you. We need to be careful and watch out for each other so we can avoid seeing all those missing faces on the news of all the children taken from outside their homes.

We need to remember to watch out for our children when they are playing outside, we need to remind them to stay together so stuff like this is less likely to happen. Children being taken from outside their homes is something we need to look out for so we can try and prevent it from happening.

My first DIY project

This past Sunday hubs and I finished our first DIY project. We made a massive headboard for our bed. It has taken us almost a year to get to this point!

We bought a king size bed last November and knew we needed a headboard but never really got around to looking for one. Earlier this year I finally gave up and joined the Pinterest movement and have gotten tons of ideas for DIY projects for around the house, one I found was a headboard. I got to hunting and found one I really, really liked. I decided that was the one I was going to do, so I did like the site said and bought a shower curtain.

We got the shower curtain pattern that we both fell in love with, only thing is I realized that most shower curtains are not as wide as a king size bed, there in lies our problem. So I decided to go Pinterest hunting again because I loved the pattern I found, and easily enough I found a ton of new ideas I could use, and of course I probably picked the toughest one. It took at least 5 hours to upholster the pieces to use for the headboard. Then we had to get the wood we needed to assemble it to the bed. Getting everything straight and secure took us another couple of hours. I'm sure all of this would have been a lot simpler and stress free if we didn't have kids running around and jumping on everything while we were trying to do all of these things.

Well it is finally finished after being in the works for a couple of weeks, and a few ideas being thrown back and forth, and I have to say I am very proud of the job we did. I made it really difficult with the pattern I chose, but hey, you live and you learn. So I know that if I ever do a project like this again I will be using solid colors!

Well here is our final product! We now need a new comforter and some cute decorative pillows but I think they are worth the sacrifice...

 

The W postion

http://www.yummymummyclub.ca/family/toddlers/20121001/the-dreaded-w-sitting-in-toddlers

A friend recently sent an email about this article. My kids don't sit in this position but I know of people who have so I just wanted to put this out there and let everyone know if you sit in the "W" position to stop.

This is a no no!!! So make sure your kids aren't sitting like this so they don't have problems later on down the road!

What if im not the cool mom?

I was not exactly the cool kid in high school, or middle school, or elementary school. The only time I was really ever the cool kid in school was in preschool when there was only like 5 kids in my class and I was the only girl. I have always had friends in different circles but was never officially accepted into any circle. So what if when its time for my kids to go to school and make friends that I am not the cool mom I like to think I am.

Obviously it has never come naturally to me so why would when I'm older? When I ask myself this question I try to remember that it will be more important to be the careful mom, who makes sure her kids make it through high school then to be the cool mom who lets the other kids stay over on school nights.

It is more important to me that I pay attention to where my kids are and what they are doing rather then if they like me or not. I hope that I am able to achieve both of these statuses throughout their lives as they are growing older but I know with my track record it is unlikely. So I can only hope to at least achieve the more important status. I may be the mean nasty mom but you bet your ass my kids will be graduating high school!

 

Kids with manners

My one year old says thank you. I'm not trying to brag but this is the truth. My three year old says, please, thank you, and your welcome. I am very proud that he says this. I think it is important to teach your kids manners as early as possible because they are terms that will get them far throughout their life and every person should know and say them. So I believe that the earlier you teach them the more likely they will never forget to use them.

This is a very important part of learning and I think it should be one of the first things every parents teaches their child to say. I know that mama and dada are the first things you want to hear but the next thing you should try for is please and thank you. If they are having trouble with their words then I think sign language is a great tool to. My kids learned a few easy signs within a matter of minutes. They start off using their hands before they ever make their first sound so it makes sense that it would be easier for them to learn sign language.

So if you have not started teaching your kids those few simple words then you should probably start now. Besides there is nothing cuter than seeing one of those little people say thank you in the store and having everyone aww at how sweet they are! Here is a recent email I got from babycenter.com talking about exactly what I am saying.

http://www.babycenter.com/6_your-3-year-old-manners_10329570.bc?responsys_count=0&scid=mbtw_post3y_2m_3w&pe=MlV5bEJjNHwyMDEzMDUyMg..

Who wears the pants?

If you ask either of us who wears the pants in the relationship we will both point to ourselves. And its the truth. For the most part all aspects of our life are pretty equal. No one person is always the bad guy, we take turns. We both discipline pretty much the same way, however I believe in spanking, he doesn't so I respect how he feels and most of the time don't spank.

When it comes to other decisions we usually make them together, sometimes I just give in and other times he just gives in. And it seems to be easier that way. We won't always agree but if one of us can give in every now and then, then that is what matters. We can't always be fighting about who is right or wrong or in charge. It's both of us.

I think that is how family's should be. It is not fair for one person to always be in charge and make decisions and its not fair for one person to always be the bad guy. Obviously things can't always be equal but staying around that line is what really matters. That also clears out a lot of the resentment if each person can be right some of the time.