The second child conundrum

I'm sure every woman out there has had a situation like this happen... you're stuck in a conversation with someone and they are asking you when you'll have kids. Or if you have one they ask if you're having another.

I know I recently asked a friend this who only has one kid. It's an automatic thought, like a must ask question for everyone. Like you're expected to have a certain number of kids. One boy, one girl that's "the perfect family". If you have two girls you're asked if you're trying for a boy, if you have two boys you're asked if you're going to try for a girl. If you have four or five kids people say aren't you done having kids? If you have only one you don't have enough. 

Where did this insane reasoning come from? I have another friend who is pregnant and I'm sure she will get asked a million times by family, friends, and even nosy strangers, if she's hoping for a girl. Why not another boy? Why can't we just leave it as it is. Why do we have to keep prying and trying to get people to conform to the "norm". Why do people always tell me I have the "perfect" family? Trust me it's far from perfect. 

If I had two boys or two girls I could save tons of money on outfits. If it was perfect why does it give me such a headache? It's perfect just because I have a boy and a girl? How does that even make sense? So any other family who doesn't have two kids, one boy and one girl is not perfect? Ug. Gag. Like seriosuly? 

If I hadn't had so many troubles with pregnancies we may have had more kids. Then my family wouldn't be perfect. If we adopt like I hope to do one day then I no longer have a perfect family? Like who in the hell set this stupid standard? Just imagine if your out someplace with your two kids both boys and you hear someone telling abother peron who has a girl and a boy that they have the perfect family. But they don't say that to you. Imagine how that would make you feel. Awful I'm sure. What makes that persons family any more perfect than yours? NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

So please people. For the sake of all parents who don't have two kids, one girl and one boy let's just drop this perfect family stereotype. Just tell them what a beautiful family they have and be done with it. Seriosuly. Because I'm so tired of hearing that perfect family line. I'm so tired of feeling the pressure of asking people if they want more kids. It's none of my business. Have more kids, or dont. Have two boys and stop there, or dont. Just stop asking other people about what their plans are.

I'll try to stop doing this. I'll try to stop feeling the pressure to do this. I'll try to stop just smiling and saying yes I do when someone has the perfect family. I'll try to respond with its no more perfect than anyone elses. And you should try the same. Or don't just know that not everybody appreciates it.