So as some of you may know I have been writing a book. Well it started off as one and has branched into more. There are already almost three complete and the ideas don't stop flowing, my plan is to get 8 full books and a few novellas.
I never really pictured myself as a writer, but now I find myself wondering how I could do anything else. I don't know how good they are, I'm waiting to hear feed back from people. I obviously know they are not done and still need a lot of work which I am very willing to do. The more feedback I get the more I can see the story transforming even more from when I started a year ago.
At first I wasn't sure about it. It started with an idea that would only come to me when I had a few moments to myself, which was basically shower time. I finally decided to start writing it down. It took me a while to get it out at first but over time I started just throwing stuff down and as it went on I could piece it together a little bit more. Who knows if this will ever be anything more than a hobby. I would like to get started on editing soon after some more adjustments and then see what a professional thinks.
I think that if my life had turned out differently I might be interested in something else. But now, when I try to think about a time when I have to go back to work it's hard to find something I would enjoy doing. Sure I would love to go back to school and finish getting my degree in Architecture and Interior Design, and maybe someday I will. But for now I feel like this is what is calling to me.
I didn't realize at first, until I started obsessing over it day and night for the past few weeks, but writing is therapeutic for me. When I transport myself into the realm I picture for my book its unexplainable how amazing it feels. I'm constantly thinking of ways to make it better, maybe I'll do this forever because I'll never think its perfect, I don't know. But I find myself dreaming about my characters and what they look like and what they are up to which helps build the story in my mind.
I have become obsessed, I guess is the only way to put it. I am up each night until almost 3am writing. When I am sleeping I dream about it. And when I am awake and not writing I constantly think about it. If that's not a serious obsession than I don't know what is.
An annoying side effect from staring at the computer for so long and obsessing over it is that sometimes words run together. I spell things how they sound in my mind instead of how they are supposed to be spelled. It comes out so fast its hard to focus on specific details like whether I should use then or than. Or if an apostrophe is necessary or not. Letters get skipped by accident and it becomes a hassle to go back and correct them. But somehow I still feel good about it. I feel like even though it could just turn out as a hobby it's still a way to get things out.
I can take out my aggression, my sadness, my fears, and even my happiness and place it into this book. I can write crazy scenarios that may never happen in real life but that seem so normal in my book. It is an incredible feeling to have found something that I can pour my heart into and not be afraid of the outcome. If people don't end up liking it then I don't really think it would bother me much. It matters what I like and what I am happy with. Sure I want others to love it and that's why I listen to the criticism and it helps me to see things I may not have seen before or on my own. And that is great if I want to appeal to other people which I do. Of course I want people to like it, to love it like I do.
I want someone to read it and get lost in it like I do. I want someone to picture themselves in that position like I do when reading someone else's book. But in the end I want to be happy with what I have written. That is what is most important to me. But that doesn't mean that any and all criticism is unwelcome because I do welcome it. I can't wait to hear what others think of it. I think I will be spending a lot more time getting it to how I want but in the end I think I could accomplish great things with this.
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