How as an adult am I supposed to tell someone younger than me how to live their life when I have done it the wrong way so many times? How can I expect so much from my kids when I wasn't the greatest kid myself?
The other day I was in the car with my younger brother. I try to keep tabs on him and make sure he is doing ok. I know because I am his sister not his parent that he opens up to me a little more. I asked him about his friends, sex, drugs, and anything else I could think of that someone should know about him. I didn't have an older sibling to look up to, but he has two. Not that the two of us are much to look up to but hopefully he can see where we made our mistakes so he can make a better choice.
But how do you tell a 16 year old not to have sex or do drugs when they know for a fact that you did both at that age? I figured the best way to talk to him about it was to tell him what I did wrong. Sure he is going to have peer pressure and he may try some things he doesn't want to. I'm sure he probably doesn't care what I say, he might think I am just telling him the bad stuff so that he will behave. I have no clue. But I tried to get him to understand that it's ok to have fun as long as your being safe.
I can't be there to smack the joint out of his hand, or to toss the drink away from him, or to hand him a condom if he decides he wants to have sex. God its still hard to believe he is at that age already! But I can be the one who tries to set him on the right path. Nobody trusts what their parents say when they say oh I was worse than you because your like yeah right what could you have done that was fun when you were my age, your like a dinosaur. Well I am not a dinosaur and I did more wrong than right for most of my teenage life. I hope watching me over the years and how ridiculous and out of control I was that he learned to be better than that. So far he seems to be doing a better job than I did and I just hope that doesn't change.
How am I supposed to handle it when my kids are his age and I'm just the stupid parent who knows nothing of peer pressure and fun at 16. I hope that being moderately honest with my kids, without going into detail that they too can learn from my mistakes. I don't think I should have to hide all of my shames from my kids but I think that a little light shed onto things may be the thing to get them through... and maybe I'll tell the lie about your genitals falling off if you catch an STD... I have a long time to prepare for the day I have to have the talk with them but I know it will be here eventually.... so lets hope by that time they have found a way to lock your kid in the closet without it being child abuse, otherwise I guess I'm stuck going the other route.
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