Sooooo... you know how the other day I went on this huge rant about how Tyler will never get used to being dropped off at school? That everyday I'll have to fight him to get out and men will have to gird their loins when he is near? Well, I would like to know who showed my kid that post! How do I know someone showed him the post you ask? Welllllllll because the very next day, yes the day right after I posted it and each day since he has skipped away from the car. Yes skipped. You read it right. My son, the one who just a few days ago kicked the crap out of a mans balls and tried to run off skipped over to his teacher.
So this is how I KNOW someone showed him my post. How you may ask... well because he only ever does or thinks the opposite of what I say.
"Tyler look at the blue sky."
"Mommy its purple."
"Oh I'm sorry, you're right. It's purple."
"Nope mommy its blue."
That could be our conversation at any given moment of the day. That's how much of a liar he thinks I am, and why? Why am I the liar? What did I ever do to deserve to be told I'm wrong every time I say something by my 4 year old and then by my 2 year old who of course follows along with whatever her brother says.
Yes you read that right. So not only am I arguing with my son about the blue sky but I have my 2 year old saying "No mommy, it's purple." Just like that. She takes his side and I know that its 2 against 1. No matter how right I may think I am I'm wrong. How does that even happen? How? How? When did I go from knowing everything to knowing nothing? It use to be "mommy what color is that?" and I would respond with "It's blue hunny." and he would say "Blue? Ok. Blue." And now its a fight. A fight about a color! And a fight about every other aspect as to which I thought I was telling the truth.
"Is papa coming today mommy?"
"No not today."
"Yes he is."
"No he's not."
He laughs. "Yes he is."
"No, no he's not coming today."
"He is mommy."
Oh really? Because you know this how? Did you get on the phone with him and arrange a meeting cause I know I didn't. I could say this all day long but somehow no matter how much I say it he will tell me I'm wrong.... sooo back to what I was saying. THIS, all that up there is how I know, I KNOW someone read that little man my post. And I would like to know who the culprit is... so I can thank them. Because if all I have to do is make a post a day about something I know will never happen even if I want it to and then it magically changes the next day then I'll make 200 posts a day!
And this my friends -who do not have children yet or have children younger than mine- is what YOU all get to look forward to. Remember that fight you had with your partner last night? The one where you both think you won. Well that's gonna end soon when your kid hits this age. You will forever be wrong until finally one day you are right and it just doesn't even matter anymore. Yes mom if you are reading this then you're reading it right. I'm admitting that you were wrong for a very, very, very, very long time and then finally one day you were right... Don't get all cocky now or anything or I'll delete this post! ;)
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