How Robins William's death changed me

I know everyone was affected by Robin Williams death. It was a tragedy. It hurts to see those we look up to loose their lives but to loose their life in such a way, god it's so painful. I think it's even more painful for those of us who battle depression, and other diseases similar to it. It is a hard, Hard, HARD disease to fight. And for some it is a forever loosing battle. And for those of us who are still fighting and watch others like us loose, well it makes it that much harder.

 

I actually wrote a post about his death the night I read about it. I cried and cried while writing it. I think it was probably the most honest post I have ever written, and probably the scariest one too. I cant bring myself to post it yet, I don't know if I ever will. It's just too much. There is soooo much feeling in it. Its me in my rawest form. But is that something I really want out there? Is that something people really want to read? Can I handle the judgment I know would come from it?

 

Then there's the questions on the opposite side of the spectrum. Would my post benefit someone else? Would it help others understand what people battling depression feel? Could it possibly reach someone who needs to know that there are others who feel the same as them?

 

I'm sure someone would say well just change what you wrote. Make it not so scary, but then it wouldn't be real. You wouldn't be able to understand the pain that's always there. You wouldn't be able to see the scars this disease leaves on the body, and I mean that literally and figuratively. Writing it without all the feeling almost makes writing about it pointless. Maybe its not the direction I want to take my blog but I feel like its a point that needs to be made...

 

So I am asking those of you who read this blog, who care what I have to say, or who are battling this same disease... tell me what you think. Maybe I can send it to those who I feel need it? Maybe I should just post it and get it all out there and if you don't like it too bad? Or maybe I should just burry it all deep inside like we people like to do? Tell me what you think. Comment, email, or message me. I would like to know what you think.