She is me

Last night Lil threw one of her temper tantrums that are happening more and more lately. Wanna guess what it was about... Her pajamas. She wasn't happy with the selection I gave her which was none because all her others were dirty. So of course her only logical response is to throw a fit. I got mad, I always get mad. I hate that she throws a fit over the stupidest things why not throw a fit when like someone eats the last poptart or drinks the last thing of juice? That's totally when I would do it (except I do it when someone eats the rest of my ice cream or drinks the last of my beer- yes I'm an adult who has thrown a tantrum over that and its a perfectly natural response when you are a fat person trapped in a skinny persons body! So lay off!)

Anyways.... So while Lil was throwing her epic uncalled for tantrum I realized something. I realized why she makes me so *$&#%#%#&#%#%@&&%#%&-# mad (That was all my curse words fyi). Its because she is me. She is the monster my parents created when I was really sick many years ago and no it wasn't intentional but it happened. And even though I've mostly grown out of being that person somehow that part of me transferred to my kid. Maybe I threw a fit when I was pregnant with her? I don't know. Or maybe she's just an egg that has lived inside me for my whole life and she got to experience everything I went through and it rubbed off on her? I don't know how it happened but it did. So when she acts like that I get mad, so freaking mad! This is the irrational person my parents dealt with starting at the ripe age of 5? So my curse is that instead of a kid starting at 5 she started from birth? Why why why did my mom have to curse me like that!?! And what in the name of everything am I supposed to do with this kid? Because when that attitude comes out I'm pretty sure my 5 year old self comes out in me too.

I'm sure Mike finds that super attractive. A grown woman and an almost three year old going head to head to see who gives in first. FYI the answer is nobody. Neither of us give in, one of us just gets removed and not by choice. Just watching act like that her makes me see red. How can this kid go insane over the dumbest things? How can I or anybody put up with her when she acts like that!? The answer is I ignore her. I let her scream and fight and I hold her down to put her pajamas on. And in public I drag her to the bathroom in Universal while she is kicking and screaming. I endure all the horrible looks from all the other people as they watch me drag my kid by her arms all because she wants daddy to take her to the bathroom and not me. Call us terrible parents but we would rather her not see that many penises that are in a mens bathroom in her childhood. Sure we could just let Mike take her into the bathroom to avoid the fit but who would I be to give in to an almost 3 year old over a bathroom? Someone who probably doesn't know how to pick her battles that's who. But in the end of both of those incidents I got what I wanted and after a few minutes she calmed down.

So whats the moral of the story? Well she who throws the fit first always wins? And I started throwing fits loooooong before she was born. So she has a lot of catching up to do to try to beat me...

I wonder why I'm so stressed all the time...