The evil, selfish, rude, spoiled, immature, pain in the ass, hypocrite in my life

The evil, selfish, rude, spoiled, immature, pain in the ass, hypocrite in my life is me. Yeah. I bet you weren't expecting that twist huh? I am all of those things and more. I know it. I don't need anyone to tell me all of that because I already know how I am. I try not to be like that but my parents unknowingly created a monster and here I am fucked up to the core.

Some people will say oh no you don't seem like all of those things but people, I am. Half the time I act like this and I don't even know it. It's imprinted in my brain so deeply that its just an automatic reaction. Add to that my ironic sense of humor and you have one disturbed bitch. Bitch. Yes. I'm a bitch. Many people may call themselves that at moments in their life. I on the other hand have moments of niceness surrounded by the rest of my bitchy moments.

And that's not even the worst part. The worst part is Mikes part. He has to put up with me! He has to deal with my random spews of venom towards anyone in particular. He has to deal with my irrational hypocrisy. He has to deal with my spoiled if I don't get my way then I'm going to throw a temper tantrum behavior. He has to deal with my heavy mood swings, my horrible sense of humor, my immature comments and way of thinking. He has to deal with this huge pain in the ass everyday.

Sometimes I'm surprised to wake up in the morning and see him still there. I often wonder if I've gone too far and he will just give up. Ok well I've gone too far a lot but so far he hasn't given up. He knows I am trying to work on myself and that is about the only reason he has stuck around. If I hadn't started to get better I know for a fact he wouldn't be here now. But he is so it helps to remind me that I am getting better.

I know I'm not the only one out there that's this screwed up. I've met others. Some people don't even know they have a problem. I've been fortunate enough to have people call me out but some people don't have that luxury. Its sad to see people knock down so many walls of friendship that all they have left is the rubble. That could have been me. That could be you if your like me. So I hope if it is you notice it and try to fix it otherwise you could loose something that you value the most. Or even worse you could create little children just like you and honestly we don't need anymore screwed up kids walking around...

 

I would just like to take a second to say thank you to Mike. He may or may not ever read this but it doesn't matter, I still want to put it out there. He does so many amazing things for me and I am eternally grateful.