I am a quitter

It has taken a while for me to finally realize this about myself. I am a quitter. I have quit schools, relationships, friendships, projects, and even a few times tried to quit out on life. And still it has taken me most of my life to realize this. I look back now and wonder how I could have been so stupid to not see it before, but somehow I didn't.

I have finally noticed this about myself and am trying to change it. I have promised myself that I will finish school, I will get a degree, it may not be tomorrow but I will do it. I have promised myself that I will finish my book, I have a 200 page deadline by the end of August and I will get there, I am more than half way there and I will do it. I am going to stop being the quitter I have always been.

I know the reason why I have been like this. I'm afraid to commit to things. I don't want to make one decision because of how it could effect the rest of my life. If I get a degree in something I'm afraid I wont be happy with it and will have wasted all that money for nothing. I am afraid of wasting my time doing something to end up not happy with it in the end. So instead I waste my time wasting my time doing nothing to avoid making one decision where instead I make another as equally as effecting on my life as the first.

I have figured this out about myself and I intend to change it. I hope that I can count on some of you to help me make this change. If it seems that I am avoiding making a decision remind me why I am probably avoiding it please. I don't want my children to waste away time in their life because they were to afraid to make a commitment to something like I have, so hopefully I can learn from this and start to set a better example for my children.