I was a bully

 

I became a bully sometime in high school. Obviously the bullying to my younger siblings started much earlier but when I started really lashing out on other people was in high school.

I tortured other girls for stupid reasons (mostly because they liked my cheating and manipulative boyfriend). I was aware of his interests in other girls but I still felt the need to claim him as mine and to win the fight for him. I wasted years on this guy who was a jerk to me for so long and who really screwed me up in the head. But I don't think the bullying started because of him.

I was bullied in middle school and some of high school, because I was under developed (I was almost a year younger than all my classmates). When I finally grew into myself it happened almost over night and I looked great. I finally had confidence in my body and did what I thought was supposed to be done to keep someone in my life: fight for him.

To this day I still think about how nasty I was to some of the girls in my highschool. I was mean to them for talking to my boyfriend but never took the anger out on the cheating bastard. But I was young and very very naïve and somehow accepted what was being done to me and just took it out on others. I know now what I did was wrong and if I could take it back I would. I would have given up on him a long time before if I had known what it would do to me down the road. I still know him now and he has turned out a better person from what I know so at least one of us came out ok.

But to all those girls that I bullied I am truly sorry. I was young and stupid and thought I was in love and should do whatever I could to keep that love and keep other people away from us. I realize now it was wrong and unhealthy and but I can't change the past and I'm sorry for that. I only hope that at some point if those girls are still holding onto that hatred for me that they can forgive me because I really am sorry.