The back of my closet

I don't know about any of you, but I have a place in my closet where I stash those really cute shorts that I bought and I actually thought I could wear them out in public. I mean I could wear them out in public now but it probably would not look very nice.

Well I bought a bunch of cute shorts sometime after I had my son, I was losing weight pretty fast and I only had a few more pounds to go until I could fit into these shorts and they would look ok.  I never got there. I stayed the same weight and then eventually I had my daughter. Every now and then I go through my closet and clean out all of the clothes that are getting yucky or do not fit me well anymore but no matter how many times I clean my closet, I can't seem to throw out those pairs of shorts.

I know I will probably never fit into these shorts but they are so cute I feel compelled to keep them. Now I am not complaining and saying that I am overweight because I'm probably the about same weight I was back in high school. And in high school I was able to fit into that size shorts, but now I can't.

I can't fit into these stupid adorable shorts because my body is no longer designed to fit into those cute little shorts. All the perfectly placed weight I had when I was younger has reshaped itself. I no longer have big boobs, a thin stomach and hips, a big butt, and nice thighs. Now I have small sagging boobs, a lumpy stomach, a double muffin top (thanks to my C-sections), huge thighs and hips, and a butt that is HUGE but is sagging. When I envisioned myself with children I always pictured myself with my perfect high school body, never in a million years did I think that two kids (and a lot of chocolate) could cause my body to look like this.

Even though I know my body is different and I will never look like that again, especially without effort, I can't seem to purge myself of those shorts. The shorts that would hug me so tight in that area that cellulite would bulge out from the pockets! The only reason I can think of as to why I hold onto the shorts is to remind me of the time when I looked into the mirror naked and thought I looked beautiful fully naked.

I'm sure this is an issue almost all mom's go through at some point, no matter how big or small you are it never looks the same again. But we need to learn to love ourselves no matter how we look. That is a problem I am struggling with right now, but I am able to joke about it. I hope that if you are struggling with some of these problems too you can laugh about them. And although you may not look like you used to just remember that you gave up your body so you could have those cute little children. And you can hold it over their heads for the rest of your life. ;)